User talk:Guruji

Welcome!

Hello, Guruji, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Guruji/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- Sir C  Holla | CUN 04:50, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

Scorpion

So, don't like the truth being posted on Conservapedia, eh? You just want to blow it all down as commie terrorists repubs, eh? Well, GET THE HECK OVER IT! Your version of "reality" and "truth" is as far from the truth as "the east is from the west". You are a lying ratscum, and that's no satire! So Conservatives are closeminded eh? Yet you are the ones who are insisiting that "reality has a left-wing bias"! So you're no better than you think we are. You think it's okay for you to demand that everyone follow your bigoted, liberal viewpoint and accept liberalism as "truth", yet it's a damnable sin for conservatives to claim that their views are true? Don't like being called "leftist liberal commies" yet you do exactly what commies DO? And making sure everyone knows what I say on Conservapedia, ignoring everyone else so you can encourage hatred of me, even though I never did anything to you? Conservapedia's darn right in everything they say about this site. 4.159.5.131 03:17, 3 August 2007 (UTC)

P.S. I have no wish to suppress the information put down, and if you visit my page on Conservapedia you'll see I've apologized for the electoral fraud. About the blocks, however: wouldn't it interest you to know that most (if not all) of my blockers were liberals??? Meaning there is bias present in those! 4.158.60.127 13:53, 3 August 2007 (UTC)

The Reason why the Guru is able to extinguish any Arachnid in sight

Wow, loving the sweeping generalizations being made here, kiddo. Makes me look somewhat smarter than you. Its funny you claim that I am a Liberal. Har har. I doth laugh at the fallacy in your argument :D. Last time I checked I was an Anarchist who hates all sides of the politics. Anyway, the real funny thing about Conservapedia is that it claims that Wikipedia has a bias. Well that's just grand! Last time I checked, there was no bias, only fact. Conservapedia has facts too, but they are selective and biased to make their ideals look good. Anyway chum, Uncyclopedia makes fun of everything as I do: Liberals, Atheists, the Pious, Bigots, Bill O'Reilly, Rosie O'Donnell, God, the lack of God, Conservatives, etc, and evidently you. And one last word, I am a Hindu, a religion that teaches neutrality. I found my neutrality, and that is to make fun of everything and anything. I love you too, Scorpion. And no, I'm not gay...not that anything is wrong with it.--Guruji 18:07, 3 August 2007 (UTC)

Well, this can't be good for your future karma. At any rate, if your religion teaches neutrality, then why do you seem to favor liberalism? Can't you find anything wrong with murdering helpless babies before they're even born?? They don't even have a chance to live! Yes, Conservapedia sheds a conservative light on certain facts, but Wikipedia sheds a liberal light on them! There seems to be a lack of neutrality in both sites, which is why both should be made fun of but I see that Wikipedia is already made fun of on here. Anyway, you skewed up my "letter of apology", and although I agree with a few things there's no way I agree with gays not being people; sure they're people, but they're making bad decisions. Homosexuality does nothing to help anyone, it causes sexually transmitted diseases and it certainly does not help to reproduce (people aren't hermaphroditic, you know) 4.158.60.62 20:52, 3 August 2007 (UTC)

Since everyone seems to enjoy making a big joke out of my username, I should change it to "The Black Scorpion" or "Giant Mutant Killer Scorpion"! 4.158.192.251 21:01, 3 August 2007 (UTC)

What? Who ever said I favour Liberalism? I favour Libertarianism (Libertarian Socialist if you want to be exact). I scoff at stupid things like "not able to display your faith because for some reason its bad", political correctness, Hillary Clinton, etc. However I have two sayings: "Let people be who they want to be. Let people do what they want to do. Let people say what they want to say. Just don't hurt anyone. Just don't be an idiot." and "The people should not be afraid of their government, the government should be afraid of the people.". I support Ron Paul, not globalists in sheep's clothing. But thats the thing with Conservatives, you assumed that I was a "Liberal". You know what? I am a Liberal in the sense that people should be free to do what they want. A Classic Liberal if you will. However the problem with many American Conservatives (not Conservatives for I have Conservative friends and they aren't idiots) is that they are close minded. You have proven yourself to be single minded. Congratulations. Also, I know conservative people who find the concept of Conservapedia to be completely stupid. Also, prove that most articles on Wikipedia sheds a Liberal light. Oh wait, they use "BCE" and "CE" instead of "AD" or "BC". I find that a trivial matter to be banned about off of Conservapedia (Fascism, no?). Oh wait, they put the "u" in colour? My my, how anti-american! See my point? Conservapedia is not for conservatives in general at all. Its for Conservatives who are Christian and American only. Yay! And you say that this couldn't be good for my future karma? Yes, because actually God cares about one guy telling another guy that he's an idiot? Yes, because God actually cares about that. And also, even Homosexuality doesn't help anyone, it doesn't cause any problems either. Also, you should learn about sexually transmitted diseases. OH WAIT! Nevermind, no wonder you speak of it as if they are transferred so easily, its because Condoms can't be talked about on Conservapedia. Also, our world is reaching, if not already in, a population crisis. Abstinence only sex-ed, opposition to birth control and condoms, and anti-homosexuality is only going to increase the population. Anyway, if you actually want to debate, I suggest going to Gaiaonline's Extended Discussion Forum.I prefer debating there because there are actually conservatives on that site that are smart, which you've proven yourself not to be. If you wish to prove yourself, go on that site. I'll be waiting as "AnarchoManiac". Thank you. You rawk Scorpion. You really do. --Guruji 21:59, 3 August 2007 (UTC)

Apparently you have a lot to actually learn about homosexuality if you don't think it causes problems. Condoms are a trivial matter which is why they are not discussed on Conservapedia. It's not important, nor is it important to have an organ on sex toys or masturbation or any of that crap on Conservapedia, like Wikipedia does. Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia are obsessed with sex and everything related and Uncyclopedia likes to make the sickest jokes about it which only disgusting lowlifes would find funny. They make me want to barf. Perhaps they should have a short article on masturbation, discussing how Christians should view it but not every little detail on how to do it. It can be a way of lusting but I won't get into that here. Also, the reason American/Christian Conservatives seem close-minded is because God doesn't require us to be open-minded to every single little trivial "new" idea out there, and yes that is going to upset many people but man's opinions shouldn't bother Christians. Frankly, I don't see what all the insistence is that "reality has a left-wing bias" on here. Since you're so open-minded, you should be open to the fact that maybe, just maybe it might have a right-wing bias! You think that people should be allowed to do what they want. Should I interpret that as saying that people should be allowed to murder, steal, rape, lie and do all sorts of the things that cause societies to crumble? I really would hate to have to think that of you, but you never know with certain people. I'll check out the site but I'm not really interested in debating, just making a few points. Ttyl - GMKS (Giant Mutant Killer Scorpion)

I could debate all I want but I won't. It doesn't matter since happenings in reality have more proof to disprove the notions of Neocons. You should also check this place out BushRevealed. Its so hilarious.--Guruji 21:56, 4 August 2007 (UTC)