User talk:Ari
Windows® BC™ is an Operating System designed by Microsoft® to assit tablet users and scribes in their daily task of recording the history of the Rise and Decline of Rome. Created by Bill Gates and funded by the final Harry Potter Movie, The Fellowship of My Thing, Windows® BC™ was revolutionary in its approach to minimising the lead time and cost of production while adding to the cruelty of masters towards slaves. But with this new technology came a challenge to morality.
Controversy[edit source]
With the traditions of Pagan Rome decling due to the introduction of the Church of Scientology, namely by Russel Crowes Gladiator and Tom Cruise in Mission Imp ossible II, Bill Gates suffered tense resistance against the introduction of Windows® BC™ in to the eastern provincial market. Due to this resistance Bill Gates hired a team of actors, under the leadership of William Shakespeare, to act their way into the Church of Scientologies sub-monostary, the Ministry of Defence. With this covert operation pending it finally occured to Bill Gates to patent his product Windows® BC™ before it was stolen by the rising star of Moon Macrosystems, a division of Sun Microsystems. Now, by 242BC Bill Gates had secured his prominent monopoly in the computer and software industry of Rome and all its provinces and settlements.
Morality[edit source]
Again, due to the influences of the Church of Scientology, the minesweeper function of Windows® BC™ was questioned as challneging the morality of the time. In a report in late October, 242BC, Tom Cruise states the reason for this conflict. "The game minesweeper is a detrimental function of the satanicly influenced creation of Bill Gates, that being Windows® BC™. Minesweeper challenges the ideas of our church..our doctrine clearly states that a game of calculated risk, such as minesweper, is a heresy on the people of the world and has the negative effect of decreasing the positive electo-meter attatched to my black heart."
Contempories of the time such as Hitachis General Manager, the honorable Iron Chef Chinese Chen Kanechi, also attacked the morality of Windows® BC™. Kanechi's arguments stated that Windows® BC™ is clearly in breach of, what according to the song from the Lion King, the "Circle of life." Kenechi and his fellow supporters (a rent-a-crowd involved in the "Free Tibet" movement) continually lobbied against the release of the Windows® BC™ Service Pack with fears that the affects of SP will furhter harm the intergrity of the "Circle of life." Although Kanechi in his life time never alluded to the negative affects some believe it to be because of his fear. That fear is that his negative karma caused by selling inferior products to Sony will result in him being a cricket in his next life.
Features[edit source]
- Scroll for Windows® BC™
- Latin to Greek Translator
- Minesweeper
- Microsofts® Age of Gladiators
Minimum Requirements[edit source]
Windows® BC™ to run correctly requires:
- 2-cog-wheel Processor or better
- 512KG of Lamb
- 44Mega hertz/ or equivilent 22 ouchies.
- 512kb of Free Hard Disk
See Also[edit source]
- Windows 3.1, the OS closely related to Windows® BC™
Brigade backup[edit source]
The Slut Brigade is a crime fighting force with the sole aim to better society through the secret assasinations of sluts.
History[edit source]
The Slut Brigade was started in 2002 as a division of the CIA by the honorable George Bush Jnr to prevent the release of Paris Hilton's sex tape. Sadly, due to P2P networks the release was continued and struck the world with horror thus pushing Paris Hilton's slut-o-meter up to 110%. This set back didn't stop the Slut Brigade though. The US government purchased the rights to the Paris Hilton Sex Tape and published on the CIA web and intranet server. For a small fee of $5.00 employees of the CIA and general public had unlimited access to Paris Hiltons now mass produced merchandise. Because of this the net worth of the CIA division quickly exceeded that of the CIA and FBI combined.
George Bush then raided the Slut Brigades funds to support a secret mission to Iraq to assasinate Sadam Husseins many 'slutish' concubines. This covert missions was a sure success and with the prize heads of the sluts worn on as a mask over emplyees heads many Iraqi terrorists were lured into the CIA's HQ. With this new secret weapon the CIA and Slut Brigades Most Wanted List near vanished.
Today[edit source]
Although the Slut Brigade is still active its missions are now kept completely secret from the general public. The main reason for this is rumoured to be because of planned assasinations on famous people such as Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson, Ashley Simpsons and ironicly Oprah Winfrey.
See Also[edit source]
Priory of Sion Backup[edit source]
The Priory of Sion was created in early 2005 by Dan Brown to fuel the fictitious claims in his novel, The Da Vinci Code. Due to the numerous lies and false allegations in The Da Vinci Code Dan Brown thought it would be a good idea to back up at least one claim in the book. Since the country of France did not exist the result was a fake setting which is a bad idea for any book, except for possibly Lord of the Rings.
History[edit source]
Dan Brown in his novel the Da Vinci Code created a fake lineage of famous queers as the leaders of his so called secret society. One famous leader being the famed artist Leonardo Da Vinci who by nature was believed to be an bit agnostic in orientation but to all enlightened ones who have followed the secret path of illuminati know that Da Vinci was outright gay. Another famous leader in the WW2 years was Adolf Hitler, leader of the German Nazi Party. During Hitlers reign all Jews, known as the cornerstone of the organisation, where removed from membership. If this truely happened the organisation would have collapsed because it is general knowledge that no secret organisation can work without the minds and administration of Jews. Because of that conemporary historians are sure that the Priory of Sion never existed until the fabrication by Dan Brown.
See Also[edit source]
Nathan Wong Backup[edit source]
Nathan Wong born 2016 is a notorious gangster Asian. As an asian he has certain stereotypical asian qualitites. These qualities include the common question asked by his peers.
"Nathan, how do you walk with your eyes closed?" Nathans trade mark answer, accompanied by his swift but precise martial arts move, is simply "I'm asian...Chinese Asian."
Nathan is also charecterised by many common asian traits. Even though his mum was born in Austrlia and is half chinese and his dad was born in New Zealand and is full Chinese...its not like we care so he is categorised with the common asian traits.
- Everyone thinks Nathan is Chinese no matter what part of Asia his ancestors were from.
- Everyone thinks Nathan is good at math.
- Nathan is commonly asked to translate a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick.
- Nathans biology lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopii) was last night's dinner.
- The vast majority of the people related to Nathan wear glasses. Thick glasses
- Nathan buys soy sauce by the gallon.
- Nathan has 12+ aunts and uncles.
- Nathan has a 50 kg bag of rice in his pantry.
- Nathan's family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
- Nathan's parents buy him clothes and shoes many sizes too big so he can grow into it and wear it for years to come.
- Nathan's parents enjoy comparing him to their friends' kids.
- Nathan is constantly reminded to marry some one form with in his own race and never forget his heritige.
- Nathan also aspires to be a porn star but his career is still yet to start because he does not have the discipline to leave the computer games alone.
Um, Thanks?[edit source]
- for overwriting my youtube article start with Wikipedia's? I mean, that's really really funny because, like, no-one's ever considered that one before. I hope you can find more articles to spoil through that method to up your contribution count.--Dagibit 22:25, 15 September 2006 (UTC)
- Look, you've got your stinking YouTube.com. You still have to admit that throwing in the article from wikipedia was pretty noobish. **Shame on you!**
- Fuck off homos--Ari 13:59, 14 February 2007 (UTC)