User:Zim ulator/Temporary Storage

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UnNews:Anyone want to buy my PS3?[edit | edit source]

deleted 11/21/2006

21 November 2006

You're bidding for one new, unopened Playstation 3 (the 60GB version). I'm not really in need of cash, but I'm looking for things to trade for:

YOUR FIRSTBORN CHILD. This is a binding contract, and will apply to you in the future if or when you bear offspring from your loins. Sorry, not interested if the thing's already popped out of the oven. If there are multiple bidders, sure, I'll entertain additional offers for 2nd, 3rd, 4th-born, etc. although I think we'll start to hit some sort of diminishing returns problems as most parents will tell you.

FIVE PLAYSTATION 3 20GB VERSIONS. I don't really want five more of these things, I just want to see someone that's actually done it. You could be the store employee who closed down the store the night before and made off with a shopping cart full of 'em. Or you could be a sweatshop worker employed by Sony who pulled a few off the assembly line hoping to feed your village until the next wave of PS4's debuted. You could even be someone who lurked outside waiting in the parking lots, pouncing on each unsuspecting PS3-buyer as they went back to their cars and leaving their PS3-less bodies for dead on the pavement (it's like a horror movie where you picked off each of the people one by one!)

FOR GIRLS: PLAY A PS3 GAME WITH ME. I don't want to say I'm desperate, because I'm not. There are plenty of cool kids who camped out since midnight at Toys 'R Us to get one of these. Even those guys on the football team who always pick on me at school showed up, although they were mostly there to laugh at the rest of us (I half suspect they were the ones that were waiting in the parking lot later tho so see how valuable these things are!!) But I'm really a nice guy once you get to know me. I know you probably get that a lot but I'm for real. I'm just a guy looking to play some videogames with a girl, or girls. Strictly platonic. It also came with a movie so if you want afterwards we can watch Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (you'll really like it because it's in high definitoin BLU RAY) or if you're interested I have some D&D stuff (have you ever heard of it? I can explain it to you later but you can read about it here too: (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D&D). I have a real nice pad in the basement under the living room (although my parents go to sleep by 10 though so we can't play it too loud) or we can do it at your place too.

A MODDED XBOX 360. The PS3 is great really, anyone would want it. I'm just looking for a modded XBOX because frankly there just aren't many launch games with the PS3 and I'd actually rather have something with, you know, games to play with. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULDN'T BE INTERESTED IN THIS! THE PS3 T0T477Y 0wn2 XBOX. XBOXes are just for kids and all you n00bs out there that can't handle the hotness of a real system liek the one I'm selling here. Plz email if you want to trade your XBox to me.

FOUR DAYS WORTH OF HOMEWORK. I camped out of that Toys 'R Us for four nights to get this shit. And you know what my teacher tells me when I get back to school this morning. THAT I GOTTA MAKE UP ALL THE HOMEWORK I MISSED. Bitch, please. But my mom said I have to so I guess I gotta do it. So you can have it if you want to do mah homework for me. Just an essay and a few pages of senior math hella eZ shyt. The essay is on "culture of consumerism" in this book we're reading or something like that. Heh, just write "That guy's phallic!" or something the teacher will like. Shyt, I bet I could just do it myse-.... nah.. First taker to email me an essay.

I'm open to other stuff and maybe if you send offers I'll edit this post to include stuff. By the way, the price if FIRM. Don't bother trying to lowball me because I could just EBAY this thing for like 10x more (babies, xboxes, whatever)

UnNews:Car hit by man[edit | edit source]

deleted 11/21/2006


20 November 2006


LeCar's school photo

Sources[edit | edit source]

-Muncie Police Department


Car Hit by Man Going 10 mph.

Today at six o' clock (just a half an hour ago) a muncie car (LeCar) was hit by a man going 10 mph. Police officials say the 1987 white male is looking at ten years minimum for attempted humanicular homicide and wreckless running. Officials did not say whether or not the man was under the influence of drugs or alcohol. LeCar seeks to press charges and court will be held on November 22. Further coverage will be brought to you as soon as possible.