User:YesTimeToEdit/mafiawelcomecontents

and I'm part of Uncyclopedia's longest running family business. I've noticed your contributions and so I thought I'd just-a pop in and give you a formal welcome on behalf of Uncyclopedia's Mafia and Uncyclopedia in general. We're a very friendly mafia, and we're here to help you! Lucky you!

I hope you like-a the place and decide to stay-a, but if not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your right... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good-a links for newcomers. I really recommend you check them out, even if you only skim-a over them.

• The Beginner's Guide is a very useful, step by step guide.
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends.
• How to be funny and not just stupid (a very good read, I went through it many times when I waw new).

If you read anything at all, make it the above-a three links. I'm presuming you can read, of course. You can read-a, can't you?

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There is the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob Program. It's a scheme that is designed to bring experienced editors straight to you. And editor on our list of-a available mentors will be happy to "adopt" you and look after you as you start your Uncyclopedia life. You can ask anyone-a from that list that you want, if they'll adopt-a you.

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To find out more about-a Uncyclopedia or for more help, click [show] for some useful links.

• Some Advanced Editing Help, and Lots of Other Things
• My Talk Page - I'll be glad to help you out, YesTimeToEdit.
• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How To Get Started Editing On Uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

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Sign your name! Pretty please (click [show])!

Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date. You can also create a custom signature, if you want by following this guide.

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Tips on writing articles...and some other things you can do (click [show]).

At Uncyclopedia, you don't have to write-a articles, if you don't want to. But it certainly is a fun and easy way-a to express your creativity. To write an article, it's a very good idea to start it in your userspace (for example, User:YesTimeToEdit/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. No one will mess with it as long as it's in your userspace, and later you can move it to the mainspace. Of course-a there are other areas to get involved in, such as reviewing-a people's articles, or creating games or even making-a lots of little edits to improve Uncyclopedia. Whatever takes-a your fancy (as long as it's constructive, not destructive).

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