User:Vincent Van Gogh's Severed Earlobe/Why?:Has My Bank Account's Balance Shrunken Today?
Have you ever been running an errand which involved making a transaction through your bank account, only to find out your account had much less money than you anticipated?. Yes, of course you have, otherwise you wouldn't have clicked here. Since we at Uncyclopedia want the best for you and your family, this article is designed to ease your fears and put your mind to rest, to help you understand no malicious forces are embezzling your hard-earned dollars.
The First Possibility[edit | edit source]
Firstly, it's highly possible that your bank account hasn't even shrunk. It might have been a display error, or you might even have misinterpreted the account balance. Fortunately for you, if this is what has occurred, your bank account will have not lost money. Perhaps you ought to double-check. Getting off your computer or phone to do so will probably buy time for us to make up more excuses whilst we siphon more of your money be healthier than just sitting there- finding out nothing has happened will calm your mind.
The Second Possibility[edit | edit source]
If you have checked your bank account and found that it has indeed lost money, the second possibility is that you have miscalculated your expenses. After all, math is infamously difficult for the kind of people who tend to use online articles for these sorts of issues in any case. Ergo, it is highly likely that the unexpected drop in cash is simply due to your natural human error in figuring out how much you would have. Running the numbers a second time around should alleviate the confusion and allow us the time to make a plan to take you out and embezzle anything from the will.
So Your Money Really is Just Mysteriously Disappearing?[edit | edit source]
This is unprecedented, but not completely shocking. There are a few common reasons for the money disappearing from a bank account directly:
- Failing to repay debts to the bank, leading to fees on the account balance.
- In some cases, a court decision can force a bank to seize funds from personal accounts.
- In extremely rare circumstances that are far and away not what is happening here, unauthorized access to one's account by someone other than the person themselves can lead to embezzlement. Again, it is important to note that is definitely not what is happening in your particular scenario.
Our crew will arrive shortly, 3 minutes at most.
BLAM!
<<insert name here> was shot by Organized Criminals.>
