User:UtarEmpire

The unperson UtarEmpire never existed and was a fabrication perpetrated by Emmanuel Goldstein.

Memories of UtarEmpire shall be corrected doubleplusgoodwise by Miniluv.

I Needed Help! …and all I got was this lousy template. (Were your questions answered? We hope so!)

(To whom it may concern: I am the original owner of this account and I am kindly requesting that this userpage be permanently deleted. Obviously, I have no way of verifying this claim, but it would seem that the account itself was purged from your system a while ago, so I'm simply suggesting to finish the job with one final bullet to the back of the neck. I suppose I understand if this request is not tenable, but I would be very grateful if it was. Thank you kindly and have a good one.)

(QVFD requested by original owner of this account, temporarily returned from the grave after 15 years, hoping to return to a peaceful eternity.)

Possible picture depicting UtarEmpire as a Chinese god.

UtarEmpire is a who attended a school at some time in the past. A noted member of a number of prominent organisations, UtarEmpire is best known for his bringing of the Institute to various countries around the world. He is also tied with other unique individuals for earning the most number of restraining orders within four years.

Early Life and Childhood

UtarEmpire was hatched from an egg atop Mount Fuji many years ago by the mysterious Takuri Bird. UtarEmpire descended from the mountain some twenty years ago and raised by Zen monks in a monastery whose location is unknown, where he took the Earth name Dr. Stupid, after his birthplace. Shortly after his birth, however, a hostile alien government felt that UtarEmpire's birth would cause a rift in time and space, and they thus kidnapped him from the monastery and delivered him to a prison island off the coast of Sri Lanka, where it was hoped that he would die in obscurity.

UtarEmpire's second set of adoptive parents, fortunately, were humane enough to place him in a hypnotic trance for fifteen years. In 2000, UtarEmpire's mother escaped from the prison island to a refuge somewhere in northern Romania, where he developed his love for science and the Asian arts, such as kung fu and rice eating.

Intervening Years

UtarEmpire moved to the United States in 1996 to spread the message of hope and truth to the unenlightened children of America. Throughout the course of this quest, he was met by much opposition in the form of the League of Evil, who attempted to suppress his calls for freedom, by various members of the student body who sought to have him killed, and by revisionist counter-revolutionaries who felt that they could stop the truth from being revealed. Many other ridiculous and heretical adventures ensured.

More controversially, UtarEmpire has occassionally taken unorthodox stands on various issues, most notably women's rights. With regards to the aforementioned, he has openly expressed disgust with the continued existence of the Lacrosstitution Guild, and has voted multiple times in favour of a "culinary arts" programme which all females would be forced to attend. Although the Council of About Twenty Dudes and Two Hot Chicks also voted in favour of this proposal by a count of 20-2, it was never implemented due to several members of the Council being found castrated several days later.

Aside from his work with the Institute of Science, UtarEmpire also did (not) co-author The Compelling Story of Slaves, Martyrs, Despots, and Heroes, of Futile Protestant Marauders and Divine Catholic Intervention, for which he was awarded "Noob Of The Month" by the Council of Uncyclopedia.

On Uncyclopedia

Awards and Recognitions

	Noob of the Moment September 2005

Commander of the Order

Contributions

• Things that don't make sense
• Even more things that don't make sense
• A lot of things that really don't make any sense
• Things that defy comprehension
• Music theory

Powers

UtarEmpire has several powers, but many of them are a secret.

Weaknesses

UtarEmpire has an affinity for small, furry animals and for beautiful women. He will also usually sacrifice much for the sake of delicious exotic food or large amounts of money, or both.

Meaning of "UtarEmpire"

Many science historians have asked the question of the meaning behind "UtarEmpire". Some have speculated that it is derived from an ancient otherworldly language, poorly Anglicised to appear the way it is. In an interview with UtarEmpire conducted in October, 2003, UtarEmpire had this to say about his name:

"You want to know what 'UtarEmpire' means? We don't care."

See Also

• There really is nothing else to see.