User:Turb0-Sunrise/ref
“FUCK OFF!”
– The players on Referees
“FUCK OFF!”
– The manager on Referees
“FUCK OFF!”
– The crowd on Referees
“FUCK OFF!”
– Gordon Ramsay on Referees
“FUCK OFF!”
– The other referees on Referees
The referee (homo retardus) is a species of subhuman often found wherever a bunch of guys do any physical activity that involves a shower afterwards, while the whole lot is being screamed at by roughly twenty thousand people.
Subspecies[edit | edit source]
The National Hockey League Referee (h.r. canadius) is a strain that can be found in cold places. The first specimens were collected in Canada, hence the Canadius taxon.
Predators[edit | edit source]
'The Referee's a wanker'[edit | edit source]
Scientists all over the world have discovered that too much wanking is often followed by temporary or permanent blindness. This was followed by a sudden lack in non-vision impaired scientists. For those who are too retarded to understand that, here's a simple equation:
Everybody understand?
Are you blind ref!?[edit | edit source]
Yes. For asking that question in the first place, that's a strike three, 15-yard personal foul penalty on the fans, red card, ball will be tipped off for a corner kick power play, and an automatic win for your opposing team.
CHEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT![edit | edit source]
Referees are often accused of cheating, but almost never do. They abide by the following set of rules while officiating:
- The referee is always right.
- If the referee is wrong, see Rule 1.
This often causes players to argue with the referee, which in turn makes the referee deploy his defence mechanisms. Usually, the whistle is used first, in an attempt to startle the approaching players. If this fails, the referee goes to his pocket and flashes a yellow card at one of the players. The cautioned player then starts crying and runs off to Mummy. Sometimes, the referee uses the Offside rule as a confusion tactic, before he makes a break for the centre circle. The Offside rule can not be understood by any living person or the most powerful supercomputer.