User:Turb0-Sunrise/White Mountains
| The White Mountains | |
| Regional Flag |  Changed in 2005 to reflect the collapse of the Old Man of the Mountain
|
| Official language | Mountainneer, French (from invading Canadiens |
| Motto: | "GET OFF MY FUCKING LAWN, LEAF PEEPAH!" |
| Government: | A moose wearing a top hat |
| Capital | either North Conway or Lincoln, or whoever's backyard has the most ATVs |
| Governor | The top hat moose |
| Religion | Mountain climbing, ATVing, and genocide of leaf peepers |
| Currency | Pinecones, gasoline (for ATVs) |
| Exports | Pinecones, trees, rocks, bears, ATV douchebags |
| Population | 
|
| Local heroes | The top hat moose |
| Imports | Leaf peepers, Canadiens |
| National anthem | 4 Minutes of Shotgun Blasts and an ATV Engine |
| Official Cuisine | Moose, bears, leaves, pinecones, leaf peepers |
The White Mountains are a group of rocks in a region of the middle of nowhere known as Northern New Hampshire.
History[edit | edit source]
The White Mountains originally served as a block for Bostonians trying to get to Montreal (and vice versa) Mainahs trying to rob Vermont of all their cheese. (and vice versa, except Vermonters attempting to steal Moxie and potatoes from Maine) The range originally extended much farther south as a barrier between New England and those goddamn Yankees fans. However, erosion wreaked havoc on the southern portions, and the only remaining portions are the Berkshires in Massachusetts and the Green Mountains in Vermont.
Eventually, some numbskulls in the Government decided that it was "BeAuTiFuL"' and made it into a National Forest.
The Western White Mountains[edit | edit source]
Unless you like a ridiculous amount of skiing, one of the rare instances of a 2-lane Interstate, and people who act like they're better than the entire state of Vermont, this part isn't for you. Mount Moosilauke (read: mooselick) used to have a carriage road up it, but now it only has some urban legend about some insane doctor running off into the woods and chucking a baby off a cliff. To the northwest is the Lost River, an excuse to get fat guys stuck in tiny caves. The ridge of Cannon Mountain and Kinsman Mountain, which forms a wall blocking everybody in the White Mountains from invading North Cheeseland.
Franconia Notch, a hiker's,