User:Treblescythe/:Death Announces Plans to claim X Factor Stars
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3 November 2009
Portsmouth, England
Death earlier today announced his intention to claim the lives of X Factor stars John and Edward.
This follows a recent spate of celebrity deceasements that Death has claimed responsiblility for, including Jade Goody, Michael Jackson and Steven Gately.
When asked what his motivation was, Death claimed, "I like collecting favourites. Word on the street is, that Jade was peoples' favourite chav, Michael was peoples' favourite dancer, and Steven was peoples' favourite singer. People are now publicly declaring that their favourite twins are John and Edward, and as such I just have to add them to my collection."
John and Edward are available for assassination every Saturday at the X Factor studios in London.
Following this statement Death proceeded to wipe out the town of Portsmouth in a freak flood, before flying off to the X Factor studios in London to claim John and Edward.
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