User:Touille/Brighton
“I came here to settle and raise a family. LOL jk, I'm gay.”
“There's nowhere more alternative and cool!”
Brighton is the England equivalent of San Francisco, California; but on a much more British scale. This means it is far less flamboyant and tolerant and instead is much posher and has far too much tea. Brighton is a popular vacation spot for homosexuals, Old People , Scene Kids and the odd un-British individual.
Brighton Timelines[edit | edit source]
The Brighton of Yesteryear[edit | edit source]
Originally named Brighthelmston-- it became Brighton in 1066 when Middle Earth claimed copyright to naming places 'Helms'. After a long and tideous court battle (which was later dramatised and turned into the Lord of the Rings)-- Brighton was born in 1792.
When the Railway was built in 1841 it became a popular holiday resort for Londoners who had too much money and nothing better to do with their time. To accomodate for the clients-- it was turned into a pampering resort with spa's (later relcoated to Bath), sauna's (the original of which still stands today and is now the foremost gay gathering ground) and tearooms.
Soon after this, councellors of Brighton and Hove decided that it would be brilliant to put these Londoners to good use and made them construct the West Pier. Due to the awful conditions, poor pay and amount of wetness involved with the job the workmanship was shoddy (at best) and so it was no surprise when it burnt down a few years later. (Possibly another contributing factor to this was that it was all made out of wood.)
Most of the original Londoners that visited Brighton are still there and make up 97% of the retirment and above aged people in the city. Or, if they haven't stayed, they've moved to Eastborne
The Brighton of Todayear[edit | edit source]
The Brighton of Tomorrowyear[edit | edit source]
There won't be a Brighton in the future-- just ask anyone. Christians believe that Brighton will be erased off the map in some sort of freak accident due to its' sinful nature; Scientists believe that Brighton will be underwater-- just like the rest of Britain thanks to our best friend Global warming and normal people believe that with the increasing number of gays in Brighton-- the birth-rate will decrease until it is nothing at all.
The End.
See Also[edit | edit source]
 | This article may be Overly British |