User:Thatswikitywikitywikitywak/HowTo:Make Telemarketers mad at you
Telemarketers!
They're annoying!
They're always calling!
And they'll never quit!
So why let them pummel you with "Are you satisfied with your long distance phone plan" and make sure you don't get a bloodsucker again!
Wait, just what is a Telemarketer?
The average telemarketer has a somewhat "Robot-Like" voice with less than average "charisma". They have never sold a product in their life, because they don't no anything about communication skills. They were not nerds in school, because nerds are smart. They were social outcasts, and telemarketing is their only way to talk to people without having the other person walk away. They now get their vengeance on others by continuously calling people during dinner. Luckily, these tips will make them cry and run back to their sewers where they came from!
Ways to bother telemarketers
Say,"Hello?", and then hang up
This is one of my favorites. Simply just say,"Hello?", and immediately hang up. If you'd like you can wait until they start talking, and then hang up. Or you could have a pleasant conversation, and you can hang up at any point.
Talk in Spanish
Go to google translate and type in the stuff you would like to say. Remember, though:
A-ah E-eh I-ee O-oh U-oo
LL-y
Y(Alone or at the end of a word, like Hoy)-ee
That'll shut them up.
Talk Just Plain Weird
If spanish ain't your "Thang", you can just talk weird, or in pig-latin
Pig latin-Dog Og-day
(Just take off the first letter and then add it along with ay like the demonstration. Words that begin with vowels, just add ay at the end.)
Or, you can just do an impression of something.
Ask many Questions
Be a curious cat! Ask them many, many questions that almost have no meaning. It's a great way to make them angry! Suggested Qs:
Will it affect my love life?
Can it override an iPhone?
Does it talk?
Does it breath?
How did you get my number?
I remember that voice, are you Sam?
Hold on, can you wait a minute? I'm almost done peeing.
Can I call you back when I reach to a decision?
Are you satisfied with your long distance phone plan?
Pretend to be the message player
I was inspired by a Calvin and Hobbes comic for this. Just pick up the phone and say,"Hi, you've reached (Insert name here). We cannot come to the phone right now, just leave your name and number after the click and long beep.
And then hang up.
So why go through all of these losers when you can just make them angry?
Make sure to use these tips and never be bothered again!!!!