User:Spinningspark/Murphy

Murphy is a name originating in Mongolia. Its popularity in Ireland is thought to be due to its use in the Official Irish version of the Bible (Iurphy for "John").

Notable people named Murphy

• Genghis Khan Murphy, aka Genghis Khan, invented the potato.
• John Benjamin Murphy invented a rectal drip for injecting hot coffee into the arse of shock victims. This practice fell into disuse once it was realised that the shock of the treatment was greater than the original shock suffered by the victim.

History

The exact origins of the hunter-gatherer Murphies is lost in the depths of time but following the invention of the potato the The Mongol Murphies became a peace loving farming people with a high cultural regard for civility with their neighbours. Ghengis Khan passed into the law of the Murphies the statute that everyone had to be nice to each other. This is the famous Murphy's Law. It was considered the height of bad manners to tell jokes disparaging others. This attitude was not reciprocated by their neighbours however. Many jokes designed to make the Murphies look stupid were in circulation. For instance, "did you here about the Murphy sea scouts?". Answer: "their tent sank". These kind of jokes were most popular amongst the English Saxons who at that time lived in Venuzuela, a small country adjacent to Mongolia. Finally Bertie Compton-Smythe, king of the Saxons, told this joke to Ghengis Khan: "Did you hear about the Murphy mosquito? It gave itself malaria". Ghenghis had no option since common civility required him to burn Compton-Smythe at the stake. However, he felt that it was only the decent thing to do to follow that up by killing everyone in China (1204). Then India (1223). Then Russia (1245), Korea, Europe, bits of Japan, Persia and lots of other places. He missed out Wales because nobody new where the fuck it was.

Ghengis's son, Kublai Khan Murphy, asked if they were still meant to be obeying Murphy's law. "Oh well, if anything can go wrong, it will", said Genghis.