User:Somebetterusername/UnReviews:Steamboat Willie

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
:)
This user was very stupid and accidentally made the page say User twice. This user is too lazy to change it, so go to the talk and berate the user for how idiotic they are. Thank you!)
:)
UnReviewsLogo.png
UnReviews — Telling you what to think about your consumer preferences for you™
Classic Steamboat Willie.jpg

I don't think I have to say anything about this film that hasn't been said before. This film, directed by the great Walt Disney, has spawned the great character that is Mickey Mouse, a character that has shown us the plights and triumphs, if little, in a fascist capitalist American society. However, I do think as if this movie is a tad bit overhyped. So, as the great pretentious film snob that I wholeheartedly accept the title of, I shall take it in myself to review this 7-minute film.

Beginningofthefilm.png

The short film begins with a title sequence, as all great movies do. A sliver of text on the top of the screen says "Disney Cartoons present", an amiable piece of info to tell us that this was made by 45-year old Oklahoma representative Wesley E. Disney. The big, balloon text "MICKEY MOUSE" pops out in the scene, telling you gigantically who the main character of this story is, obviously this "Mickey" fellow, and his "Mouse" who they go on wacky adventures with. "SOUND CARTOON" gives you the gist that this was recorded with a Blue Yeti microphone, as all first indie films usually are. The title of the film is "Steamboat Willie" shown in the middle of the screen, blocking the view of Mickey and Minnie of each other on the left and the right, symbolizing Mickey's job getting in the way of trying to get into a relationship with his female love interest. "A Walt Disney Comic" is shown in italics near the bottom, despite the fact that this is obviously not a comic (That is a star deducted). It is also quite perplexing how it is a "Walt Disney Comic" and yet it is "by UB IWERKS". Walt Disney has a lot of explaining to do with that one. There are other useless information on the bottom that I'm too bothered to read, I'm trying to make this review quick, concise, and snappy after all.

ATITLEHALLELUJAH.png

Most of the boring text fades out of sight, as the title is put to the forefront, obviously Walt Disney's first try at shallow focus, which really only just makes everything black. Very lazy job, I have to decree. Instead, you might notice that Steamboat Willie, along with the momentary mention of 43rd president George W. Bush, have the words SATAN in them. Obviously this is Walt Disney comparing the war criminal and Hitler disciple Bush to Mickey Mouse, setting up what we will see out of Mickey's behavior and how he gradually takes the path to breaking out of the mold.

The title has now surrounded to the blackness, possibly the only representation in this very anti-capitalist yet socially mostly conservative film.
Epsteinislandboattrip.png

The film starts with a shot of a steamboat, which is a hard-to-spot callback to the title, "Steamboat Willie". Fultonesque artwork is plastered all over the whole damn film, showing the Industrial Revolution and its consequences, the consequences being that they are sailing in a white void with no background to compliment the gorgeous steamboat drawings done none other than Ub Iwerks. The steamboat tosses and turns, shooting out smoke rings from its top hole, the rings dissipating and probably going into the atmosphere or some environmental shit like that. A black flag can be seen at the front of the boat, possibly the country of Libya or Nautical Flag ⍼. The wheel turns away, a quite intelligent look at the cycle of life, as it goes over and over again, the water being complete and inescapable death.

Ofmiceand.png

Finally, we get a shot of our titular character, Mickey "Dubya" Mouse. His fanatic, child-like smile is one that everyone has seen already, and is inclined to mimic back the same naive demeanor. Mickey faces forward at the camera, which he does usually throughout the duration of the short, recognizing the path forward in his sea trek, but also how to operate a wheel, which harkens back to the "cycle of life" Walt Disney is adamant about you knowing, and will be featured all throughout this short.

Imaginarybj.png

Mickey starts whistling "Steamboat Bill", an obvious call-back to the circle of life idea. He then turns the wheel, a throwback to the title "Steamboat Willie". He does this a few more times, symbolizing how the animators are poor as hell. As he sings his little ditty, he pulls a rope and sounds the boat's whistles.

Mickeyhangshimself.png

The first two boat whistles scream away, happy in their stale, dull life of only being able to do one action. They look on at a non-conformist whistle, standing there protesting his slavery, tied up and forced to work as Pete's property, and beat him up into submission. This is VERY good foreshadowing of what's to come.

Surprisesurprise.png
Spontaneousexplosion.png
Secondsbeforedeath.png

As Mickey Mouse has his fun steering at the wheel, "bad guy" Pete comes into the picture and is disgusted by Mickey's jovial outlook at being the captain (and also that he stole his job but shhhh).

Bodyhorror.png

In retaliation, Pete pulls Mickey's body in a boomerang-like shape, effectively crushing all his organs and, in a just and fair world, kills him. Unfortunately, he is still alive (a classic case of plot armor for the main character) and he registers a response of shock, absolutely horrified by his grotesque disfigurement. Pete swings him around, shifting the positions of the characters, Pete next to the wheel and Mickey next to the stairs, reality sets in the scene.

Bodyhorror2.png

Pete lets go of Mickey so he can put back all of his rubbery skin back, magically removing the mutilation.

Notevenaminuteinbtw.png

Pete berates Mickey for being an all-around asshole and taking his job, we can only have seen the amount of animals he would have killed if he had still been steering.

Gotohell.png
Horribleposture.png

In retaliation, Mickey blows a raspberry, his rebellious side showing for the first time, challenging the authority of Pete and his control over the ship. This is a clear reference to Mickey as an anarchist, as it is well known that Mickey rejects the military and believes veterans saw it coming.

Unlike this imperialist pig..

Pete, angry and mad, tries to hurt Mickey, further echoing the sentiment that All Captains are Bastards.

Thismusthavehurt.png

Instead, in a horrifying case of slapstick, his leg bends backwards and hits him in the bottom, stars flying out as he writhes in pain. Are we supposed to laugh at this??? What the hell??? Someone has to get him a doctor.

Meanwhilebackattheranch.png

Well, back to this bitch. Mickey slips and slides down the stairs, him suffering a whole lot of bruises from diving head first from the last scene. He slips onto a soap and falls into a bucket. quickly getting out of it and getting drenched from the encounter. A parrot looks on, utterly baffled at this mouse who has clothes and can whistle, while he sits there as a normal animal.

Picture24.png
Balladofthegreenparrots.png

Taking offense at the mouse and also quite amused by the drenching of his pants, the parrot starts to screech at the mouse. "Hope you didn't get hurt, big boy!" The parrot then starts to laugh, little rays of light appearing, flickering and circling around his face. This is symbolism of the parrot being God himself, watching above Mickey as he laughs down at this mortal fool.

B&wbaptism.png

Mickey, angered at life and God, grabs a hold of the bucket and looks right in the eye of the parrot. In retaliation, (are you tired of me sayin that?) he throws the bucket at God, another look at the rebellious mind of the mouse, as the parrot shows his cries of pain. "Help, man overboard." I thought he could walk on water, but okay.... (half a star deducted)


UnReviewsLogo.png

UnReviews
This article is a part of the UnReviews project
See more UnReviews

StarRating.png

3 Stars
Slightly above average