User:Sog1970/RnR

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Teenagers were invented in 1949 and, with them, the need to find innovative ways to make them part with their pocket-money. Sun Records executives commissioned one of the first opinion polls to discover just why this new demographic were not buying the offerings of the Andrews Sisters or Perry Como with the same enthusiasm as their parents. It seemed that the gentle ballads of the day, many of which concerned the scandal of Mommy kissing Santa Claus or the blueness of the moon, simply did not connect with an age group more interested in discovering the content of their opposite gender’s underwear.

With the recent invention of the electric guitar, 45 rpm single records and electronic amplification, they realised that there was a gap in the market for a music that combined a boogie woogie blues rhythm with an accentuated backbeat. Immediately Sun despatched a party of their finest A & R men to the Deep South in search of artistes who could deliver this youth-orientated style with swagger while proclaiming their interest in procreation without embarrassment. Despite an extensive 8 month investigation of every state south of the Mason-Dixon Line, they failed to meet even one of the many performers who are these days thought of as the initiators of Rock and Roll.

“To be fair to ourselves,” wrote Steve Goldstein, Head of Corporate Talent. “We tried to meet up with Chuck Berry but black folks just weren’t allowed inside the same hotels as us unless they were wearing a waiter’s uniform. ”

Instead, it fell to Sun Records to release the first universally acknowledged Rock and Roll classic in 1954 and even that owed more than a little to luck. In January of that year, unemployed truck driver Elvis Presley happened to be walking through a municipal park in Memphis, Tennessee. Unable to pass up the opportunity to pick up a fee lunch he chased a lame squirrel through the park-gates and along a busy street before cornering it the office of Sam Phillips. Within six weeks “That’s all right, Mama” was a coast to coast smash and Little Richard was more than a little annoyed.

I wonder if you can use any of this rambling ramble[edit | edit source]

Rock ‘n’ Roll evolution, or, the history of rhythm
In the beginning, back in nineteen fifty five

Man didn't know 'bout a rock 'n' roll show, 'n all that jive
The white man had the schmaltz, the black man had the blues
No one knew what they was gonna do
But Tchaikovsky had the news, he said

Let there be sound, and there was sound
Let there be light, and there was light
Let there be drums, there was drums
Let there be guitar, there was guitar, ah

Let there be rock!

Rock ‘n’ Roll did not start with Elvis and Eve Presley – in the Garden of Eden; it started with Leroy and Sapphire Ubangoo'luu – in the Garden of Africa. That’s right, ontologically rock can be traced back to the Stone Age. But in the Garden of Eden the white cavemen had no rhythm - so while there were stones aplenty, still there were no white rockers.

But in the Garden of Africa the black man took two rocks and banged them together repeatedly. This banging gave rise to rhythm, and rhythm is the primeval foundation of rock. You can’t have rock without roll. But the black rockers kept rhythm to them selves, only demonstrating rhythm when they held a war party or a peace party or just a get-down ‘bare boobs’ party, which was nearly every day - until the Christians arrived. They rocked and rolled like no white man could dream of. But rock was kept confined to the tribes. And even after millions of years of rhythm - still the white man had yet to catch on - preferring the ballet and opera.

Then Christian-organized human slavery changed everything. The rocking blacks were sold in the new world: cheap. These slaves had lost almost everything, but they never lost their rhythm - they were born rockers. As the times became cotton-picking miserable those rocking blacks started to complain about everything from master to mama. But they didn't just bitch like a white loser, they added rhythm to their miserable lives and invented the blues and gospel. Between gospel and blues those blacks were rocking and rolling - and after the great depression (period following the Kennedy assassination) - when white folks were looking for a way to express their frustration besides war - it was none other than the black folks who led the way. Lots of rocking blacks played the blues until finally the white man actually listened to the black music. It was wild. It was rocking. It was rhythm. And white folks said, goddamn those black folks sure do have rhythm, whatever that is!?

But it wasn't until Chuck Berry that rhythm and blues were totally joined, speeded up, and called Rock and Roll – a public outrage. Most American white folks didn't take much notice of all the rhythm - and instead they tried to lock up Chuck Berry lest he corrupt an entire generation of party happy white trash. But it was too late. Elvis and Pat Boone tried to imitate the black rhythm in spite of they’re being far too civilized. Just imagine Pat Boone singing, “tutty fruity, on a-rooty” - gad!

Meanwhile the Mods in UK acquired all the discarded US R&R records, and they soaked up this rhythm - which reminded them of the London bombing raids, and feeling all spruced up they started to copy the rhythm, calling it, in stead, the big beat. It was a toss up, when along came The Beatles who said, 'We don’t know about big beat'. And lo and behold they ripped off Chuck Berry and dubbed it rock and roll. Americans said, goddamn those English folks sure do have rhythm, whatever that is!? By that time the British invasion was complete, and from then on the British patented Rock 'n' Roll, and sold the rights to Michael Jackson. Only the British Raj had the where-with-all to steal rhythm from the black folks, patent it, teach it to the Americans, and and then sell it back to the black folks plus interest, as psychedelic music?

Psychedelic music, which was powerful enough to induce Ludwig van Beethoven to roll over and mad enough to drive the North Vietnamese to liberate their country.

With tribal rhythms at its heart Rock's bastard child, Psychedelic music, was quite possibly conjured up by none other than the great Dr. Timothy Leary who gave LSD to the Mothers of Invention, The Third Bardo, The Beatles, The Yardbirds, Big Brother and The Holding Company, The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, and other unsuspecting bands, who collectively said, "whoa!" - and proceeded to turn their amps up to maximum and pay homage to feedback and distortion.

The resulting cacophony stirred intensely curious strangelings who, together with the dregs of an entire generation, joined Dr. Leary and began expounding on Bhardo Thodal - instant enlightenment through ingesting sacred mushrooms, LSD, and other mind-altering substances such as paint thinner, model airplane glue, and dried banana peels. The subtle catch being that it all leads to nothingness or voidism. If you're a Psychedelic musician then you'll understand the meaning of nothingness, because nothing is all that most psych bands ever got. In order to make money and get laid this Psychedelic music devolved into hard rock and heavy metal - collectively known as "garage."

Roots of Rock[edit | edit source]

The white man brought civility to the wild African rock

Any history of RnR has to start at the beginning. The black folks from Africa invented rhythm - the beat, and they did this using rocks and sticks; and with that rockin' rhythm they danced (rolled). So RnR has its roots in Africa -- if anyone gets the credit for RnR it's the Africans. And, apart from Country and Western dicks, everyone else would agree 100%.

Really, slavery was just a ruse to import RnR - if they would have said, "we're bringing in all these rock n rollers" people would have revolted. So they called them slaves. In fact, to this day, most rock musicians, white or black, are still slaves. So slavery was more than just a ruse by the ancestors of Dick Clark to smuggle rhythm into the New World - mainly because Western music has NO rhythm, and Red Indian music had ONLY rhythm. So they added the blues - people started bitching-to-a-beat and Rock was born.

This beat entered the Old World, and there was, among others, "Billy Fury" who said, "bloooody 'ell! This rhythm business is worth money, IF, I slow it down a tad." The Colonies, not to be overdone, sent their best white version to UK in Eddie Cochran, and he was so bloody good that the British killed him - right there in London, and then copied him in a myriad bands. But that was all a diversion. Because the real King of Rock was neither Elvis nor the Beatles, it was Chuck Berry, cause he was the REAL thing, which finally lead to Hendrix as the ultimate "experience".

And it came to pass, that rock 'n' roll was born

All across the land every rocking' band, was blowin' up a storm
And the guitar man got famous, the businessman got rich
And in every bar there was a superstar, with a seven-year itch
There was fifteen million fingers, learnin' how to play
And you could hear the fingers pickin'
And this is what they had to say...

Let there be light, sound, drums, 'n guitar, ah

Let there be rock!