User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/Sarah Palin (2012 event)
What will happen in 2012? Will there be an asteroid impact? An alien invasion? A black hole that will consume us all? No, I'm afraid the universe has something much more dreadful for us in store: Sarah Palin. She will be the end of us all. "How? Is she gonna nuke half of the planet or something?" you may ask. However alluring that thought may be, I'm afraid even Sarah Palin isn't stupid enough to pull that off. What we'll have to endure will be exponentially more traumatic.
But first...[edit | edit source]
You might've figured that there are presidential elections in 2012 and now you're wondering "Is Sarah Palin gonna win those?" Yes. And she'll swamp the competition. Just consider how pathetic her competition is. Barack Hussein Obama II, during his presidency[1], has managed to raise taxes, allow oil to flood the Gulf of Mexico and win a Nobel Peace Prize for being black. John Boehner... his surname is pronounced "BONER" for crying out loud! Ron Paul? He doesn't exist, apparently. Michele Bachmann? She's not Sarah Palin. And don't you even dare mentioning Ralph Nader.
"Alright, so how is she gonna screw up her presidency?"[edit | edit source]
That's exactly it! She isn't! She'll have a load of smart people telling her what to do, and she'll actually do something useful! She'll make the public debt go away. She'll fix the economy. She'll make everything cheap again. She'll prohibit all taxes. In other words, she'll become vastly popular. And considering some people still like Obama, that's a huge understatement.