User:Snippy/Lab/Jamie Oliver

That's not chopped up capsicum - that's blood. He's really got to stop looking at the camera while chopping up stuff with a big knife.

James 'Jamie' Oliver, MBE (born 27 May 1975), is a British chef, restaurateur, media personality and professional twat, known for his uncountable number of cooking shows, his recent campaigns against the use of processed foods in national schools, and his favourite word, 'literally', which he incorporates into literally every sentence he speaks.

Biography

Jamie Oliver was brought up in Essex, England. His parents owned a pub, “The Cricketers”, and Jamie would frequently practice his culinary skills in the pub’s kitchen. Even from an early age, he displayed a prodigious talent in food and cookery, and customers at the pub would often remark that their meals were “extraordinary”, “godly”, and “I just wanted a fried egg and you gave me a four course banquet".

Books

Jamie Oliver has written over sixteen different cookbooks, though some debate that the number is lower, as most of his cookbooks are just pictures of Jamie posing for the camera.

Cooking shows

It is unknown exactly how many cooking shows Jamie has produced, though the number has been estimated to be close to infinite. Almost all of them have been well received, being praised for their educational qualities, and Jamie’s casual, ‘blokey’ approach to cooking.

"...and I also love Jamie's use of the word 'literally' - it really helps to paint a picture of what he is trying to convey. When he comes up with a such sentences, say, as “literally add a bit of salt” or "literally turn on the oven", it allows the viewer to truly understand what he is trying to express. In particular, that he is mentally ill."

— someone

Stuff from the current article that could be used... maybe

• Jamie literally cooks literacy, which literally literates literature to illiterate people.
• Fact! He single handedly cooks every single school dinner in England every single day.
• Fact! He tries something new every day, and on occasion two new things, but never three. That would be too much. Especially with his tongue condition.