User:Singzulu/Sonia Gandhi
Sonia Gandhi is a witch who practices Voodoo to keep the official Indian prime minister Manmohan Singh under her sway. Sonia was born to a pair of lesbians in Italy, one of whom leapt on to advances in medical science to impregnate herself with the sperm of a Roma man. According to a hypothesis an alien had fooled the ladies into believing he was a Roma.
Childhood[edit | edit source]
When Sonia was five, her parents went broke. They had no money to buy alcohol and drugs so poor Sonia was sold to a group of a passing group of hippies. They in turn abandoned her at a church in England. Thus she was brought up on donation money under the constant gaze of leering, old priests.
It was at the church that the nuns there taught her black magic.
Career[edit | edit source]
Sonia began her career as an oracle. She would tell people's fortunes and solve their problems. She soon had a long queue of fools who sought her assistance. She promised them the moon, charged a hefty fee and, after a couple of months, disappeared from Britain.
A few years later, she was spotted in a Bollywood film. She had changed her name to Munni (doll).
Life in India[edit | edit source]
Sonia was always an ambitious girl. Once in India, her ambitions knew no bounds. She would not settle for the second best.
The son of former Indian prime minister Rajiv Gandhi was once visiting Mumbai. She quickly realised this was her chance. She sneaked into her convoy and read her powerful spell. Rajiv was so enchanted with this Italian beauty that they quickly married. After this marriage, she had to stop acting in lewd, cheap Bollywood films. Nonetheless, she is still remembered for the roles she played in numerous B-Grade films.
Personal life[edit | edit source]
Sonia has had a very tumultous personal life since childhood. But after half-a-dozen failed marriages and more than twelve unsuccessful relationships she has finally found the love of her life in Manmohan Singh.
Contact with the Devil[edit | edit source]
Sonia's magic allows her to communicate with Satan. She has even signed a secret pact with Satan's ugly cannibals to supply them an unlimited amount of food. This explains her fierce opposition to family planning programmes in the country. Satan, in turn, has endowed her with special powers that keep her young and give her control over humans in her proximity.