User:Simsilikesims/Death Cap Recipes/2

Careful selection of mushrooms is important for achieving the desired toxicity.

Death Cap Recipes are a set of recipes that include the deadly poisonous Death Cap Mushroom as a key ingredient. These meals are usually served before breaking off an engagement or informing a business partner or crime family member that their services are no longer required. These recipes have been in use for hundreds of years, far longer than the more recent whacking practices such as cement-shoeing. Using the Death Cap Recipes is also a much safer alternative to such other food-related assassinations as the Ticking Truffle (which can result in burns if the ingredients are handled incorrectly.

Death Cappers Anonymous

DCA is an organization that promotes Death Cap mushrooms as an ingredient in everyday cooking. Their quixotic inability to keep newer members coming back for a second meeting has yet to be explained.

from their charter:

To begin, we, the 'Death Cappers Anonymous feel that it is necessary to dispel the common myth that poison is in any way harmful to living organisms. None of these myths are true, unlike the untruth that fish is supposedly 'good for your brain'. The fact remains that they are not good for your brain in the least, unless 'good for your brain' means 'not working'.

Sample Poisonous Mushroom Recipes

There are many wonderful, lesser-known recipes that have been gathered in a single book known as '1001 Death Cap Recipes', a death cap being one of the finest delicacies, and one of the finer small, succulentesque mushy rooms.

Purple Fungus Galore

• A fungus, preferably poisonous.
  
• Purple food coloring.
  
• Salt.
  
• Socks.
  

Chop said fungus into itty bitty pieces. Wrap them in said socks. Stick them into the oven at thirty seven degrees Celsius.

Wait two minutes.

Remove socks and fungus from oven, and dip each fungus in unsaid chocolate mixture, and pour said food coloring upon each fungus bit. Finish off with a pinch of sea salt.

Giant Puffball Souffle

• Puffball
  
• Egg
  
• Salt
  
• Egg
  
• Sugar
  
• Egg
  
• So on.
  

Stick said puffpall into unsaid eye. Wait five seconds. Pull puffball out of eye. Make sure you are blind before you continue. Stick said puffball into other eye. Repeat process. Amble off somewhere to complain about how you listened to this recipe in the stupidest manner possible- repeating the process.