User:Simsilikesims/Celebrity Body Scans

"Please Note"- Celebrity body scans is a pay per view service provided as a courtesy of your tax dollars by the TSA. Each scan was tested in a lavatory by a government agent, and then each scan is carefully examined and selected by a special group of retarded retired TSA agents.

Pam Anderson was one of the first celebrity body scans available. If you are looking at this picture, You owe the TSA $10.00, You may print the picture for $25.00. Posters are available for $50.00 and coffee mugs for $75.00.

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) in America is always looking for new revenue streams. A perfect example is the high-tech body scanners that cost $73 million each in federal stimulus funds, that give our TSA screeners the ability to see beneath a celebrity's clothing while they search for weapons and other contraband. Woo Hoo!

How It Works

The devices uses recently acquired alien technology. We tell our celebrity's that a non-lethal dose of radiation (They actually believe us!) to create a real life computerized image of a celebrity's naked body parts and other cool things!

We do request the celebrity to donate some money to our TSA employee fund for this service. We also take special request from the public for wanted celebrity body scans.

Tours

We do offer special rates to schools and church groups to tour our facilities and enjoy a body scan. We will provide an photo album for an additional charge.

You may even get to meet your favorite celebrity, and perhaps have a body scan together.

Celebrity Pat Down Service

The TSA also offers celebrity pat downs as a wonderful separate service for celebrities who refuse to participate in our body scans program, or would like a complementary physical examination. We encourage the more beautiful and youthful celebrities to participate and Za Za Gabor has been banned from this service.

We are working on offering streaming webcams at both the Los Angeles & Las Vegas airports of our ongoing celebrity body scans and celebrity pat downs. A coin operated peep show style booths will soon be available at most major airports for your viewing pleasure.

See also

http://www.holytaco.com/7-celebrity-tsa-body-scans http://arcade.gamedesire.com/gdagg-2813,game-Celebrity-Body-Scanner.html