User:Redattacker/Steve Hofstetter
“Queer.”
“Yeah, I had sex with him a few times. Why do you ask?”
“And what's the deal with Larry anyway?”
“...”
“Well hey th-EARUGH!”
“This Hofstetter guy....Loves the Cock, LOVES IT!”
“I went to school with this ass, he's the reason I took up fighting, So I could bully him harder.”
“Peice of human shit...”
“I want him dead! His family dead! But moreso him!”
Sucks.[edit | edit source]
Recent reports have confirmed that he seems to also blow.
Recent reports show that he did not like Steve Irwin, and made fun of him.
Rumor has it that Hofstetter has 3 hit games comming out entitled "Hofstetter And The Boys" "Super Doucheio Brothers" and "I am Steve, Masterdabator"
Early Life[edit | edit source]
It seemed Steve was destined for douchery right from the start. He had grown up on a farm just outside- okay, who am I kidding? A couple found him in a gutter in New York and took pity on him, raising him as their own. By the tender age of 6, he was already telling the other kids at school all about the people he didn't like, regardless if they cared or not. By 10 he would regularily do a sort of stand-up comedy at his school talking about things such as the local bullies, the teachers, how cool he was, etc. This didn't go well for him. He was beat up quite a lot. This would continue for another 5 years.
The Rough Teens[edit | edit source]
When Hofstetter turned 15 he looked for a decent job to get him started. At first he tried local comedy clubs, but they all turned him down saying "Too damn ugly kid." They usually stole his wallet and clothes after saying this.
Rather than lose all his money and clothes, Steve decided to settle for a job as a plumber. At the age of 18, he began his work. He was partnered with a strange Italian named Mario. Nobody knew his last name. Work was good for awhile, aside from the days where Mario seemed to take a fit and throw the sink at Steve. (This caused a fractured pelvis at one point)
Then one fateful day, Steve vanished. Police questioned Mario but found that he too was gone. The police told his foster parents that he was definately dead. They then burped, scratched their asses, and left for Dunkin' Doughnuts.
Two years later, Steve showed up at the front door of his foster parents' house. They almost even smiled. When they asked him what had happened, he said he had gotten lost on the way home. He couldn't tell them the real truth, not after what Mario had said. He finally got his career as a comedian at the age of 20.
Adolensent Shit[edit | edit source]
Steve started his career at retard hospital, where he did an act in front of a crowd of people with "laughing disease".( a disease which makes you laugh for no apparent reason). This was very successful for steve, and soon he was performing in front of all kinds of people who have diseases that make him funny. Until one faithful night. Where Steve sat next to Larry the Cable Guys toilet stall. Apparently Larry had missed the toilet, and crap leaked EVERYWHERE. The janitor asked if he should just replace the entire bathroom, and Larry replied with "Git R Done". And the janitor(who didn't think of steve as a human being), used a bulldozer to completely remove the bathrooms from the area and dumped them in a sewage plant. Steve, covered in crap, swore vengeance on Larry. So he started to change his act a little to get people to hate Larry.
Hofstetter Lives[edit | edit source]
Steve still lives today, making fun of Larry, Steve Irwin, and countless others. He even has his own website. Go there today and see as he attempts to get as many friends as he possibly can as if there's a big war on it's way or something.
Hofstetters Hate List[edit | edit source]
1.Larry The Cable Guy.
2.Steve Irwin.
3.Mr.T.
4.Sagat.
5.Mario.
6.Donkey Kong.
7.Funny Jokes.
List of Movies/Shows and Games Steve Hofstetter Has Appeared In[edit | edit source]
- The Texas Chainsaw Cable Guy
- Dude, Where's My Talented Jokes?
- Lord of the Douches: The Doucheship Of The Queer
- Lord of the Douches: The Twin Douches
- Lord of the Douches: The Return Of The Douche
- Night Of The Living Ginger
- Creature From The Queer Lagoon
- Nightmare On Queer Street
- Gingersnaps
- Gingersnaps 2
- The Cure For The Queer Guy
- My Big Fat Unfunny Wedding
- 101 Untalented Skits
- Ginger By The Dozen
- I Know Who You Did Last Summer
- American Douchebag In London
- The Passion Of The Queer
- Douches on a plane
- O douche, Where art thou?
- The douche
- Douche X
- Kindergardener mountain
- Steve Hofstetters big Douche
- Super Douchio Bros
- Megadouche
- Douche Park
- Family Douche
- The Douchesons
- Doucherama
- King of the Douche
- The Legend of Douche Ocarina of Penis