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A typical astronomer - Note the awesomeness (and the awesome hair)

Kings of men, widely believed to be the reason life began on Earth. Astronomers have been the cornerstone upon which society has formed and have justly been revered as gods throughout the ages. Scientific research has shown that astronomers are approximately 2.54 times better than ordinary people.

It is still common practice in some countries for astronomers to be called to the very ill. Of course this is of no use to the ill person, however it is nice for them to die gazing upon someone as awesome as an astronomer.

History of Astronomy[edit]

There are any number of fascinating historical tales which demonstrate the unparalleled awesomeness of Astronomers. One of the best known is that of King Solomon's Astronomer, who was single handedly responsible for the design and construction of King Solomon's Temple, and, as a consequence, began the now infamous order of Freemasons, who are, in fact, dedicated to the secret worship of Astronomers. It is interesting to note that this story is conspicuous by its absence from the Bible, which contains many other tales of the reign of King Solomon.

It is generally accepted by modern Bible scholars that the religious men who compiled the Bible as we now know it from earlier texts feared that the obviously awesome Astronomer might outshine the frankly mediocre Bible figures such as God and Jesus Christ. Consequently this tale was deliberately left out in an effort to prevent King Solomon's Astronomer from making figures who were considered more central to the main message of the Bible look bad.

It has even been suggested, controversially, that several miracles attributed to the Son of God in the new testament were, in fact, performed by Astronomers. As modern research continues to push the boundries of science and technology in an attempt to quantify the seemingly boundless awesomeness of Astronomers, this theory is steadily gaining more credence.