User:RabbiTechno/TechnoShed/30dos/P17
Chauvinist pig! Just because the Beast's strong and aggressive, you assumed it was male, didn't you? But it isn't - it's a lady beast! Females can be strong and aggressive, too - not just lesbians either. Anyway, you're gonna pay for that, you sexist, because attempting to kick it in the bollocks has had no effect whatsoever due to the fact that - and this is going to come as a big surprise to you geekier Uncyclopedians who aren't exactly au fait (ooh, get me - parley voo francey!) with the finer details of feminine anatomy - female animals don't have bollocks!
Driving its awful talons deep into your torso, the Beast - partly due to being enraged with an unholy bloodlust and partly to strike a blow for feminism - lowers its slavering jaws to within inches of your face. Its fetid, stinking breath chokes you; but relief comes soon as it chews your face off. No nose and you can't smell it - gotta look on the bright side :). Oh well, with a face like yours that's no bad thing, I suppose. It might actually do you a favour. Maybe girls will feel sorry for you once your terrible injuries have healed and you'll score with them. Oh, perhaps not - the Beast just bit your head off and swallowed it. Major bummer, dude.