User:Pedro1999a/Methylated spirits
“Bleurggghhh you fucker. You're my best fuckin' mate pal. Apart from him in Reading prison an' that.”
~ Oscar Wilde
Methylated Spirits is a generic name for a number of alcohol substitutes. Common in mouthwash and cheesecake methylated sipirits (often known as myths) are a popular and affordable alternatve to food.
History[edit | edit source]
Discovered in the Arabian peninsula, methylated spirits were frequently used in pre-history as both a substitute for toilet paper and a contraceptive.
Controversy[edit | edit source]
Many people have claimed meths to be an unacceptable pre-dinner drink. Indeed, some have claimed it to be unacceptable post dinner. These arguments are now generally rejected amongst the modern scientfic community. Recent experiments have shown heavy meths consumption to increase IQ, sexual attractivness, and to assist in the growing of beards. In addition, a direct line between meths intake and a satisfactory renumeration from asking for "10p for a cup of tea guv" has also been shown (S.plunkum, D. Tramporama et.al. Nature Sep. 2003).