UnNews:Notre Dame wins college football championship, saves world from brainrot in another universe
Tuesday, January 21, 2025
ATLANTA, GEORGIA, EARTH-1337 -- It looks like there is a God after all.
After convincing head coach Marcus Freeman into following the Pope, Mary, and Catholic Jesus, Notre Dame's football team saw the fruits of their work: they vanquished Ohio State during the college football championship. Not only did the Fighting Irish win, the world also won as there will be no "skibidi CEO of Ohio State" brainrot memes, considered the spawn of Satan himself, flooding the internet.
"Wow, praise Catholic Jesus!" remarked Freeman as he and his student players were showered by confetti in light of their championship win, their first in a long, looooong time. "Who knew that after losing to some Division II school that we'd be blessed with winning a championship!"
When we reminded Freeman that not only did he turn around his football team, that he saved the world from brainrot, he responded "Brainrot? What's that? I've also never heard the term 'CEO of Ohio' or 'skibidi' either." We responded that it was best that he didn't know.
"Oh yeah, Ohio State had it coming all along", stated Notre Dame quarterback Riley Leonard during Notre Dame's press conference as he fidgeted with a Rosary bead. "As Coach Freeman reminded us to only have three things in mind, namely football, family, God.. sorry, I mean, God, family, and football, we stayed away from embracing all those stupid 'Ohio' memes on TikTok as OSU seemed to do. They did terrible today as they made 'skibidi' their false idol while we had Christ on our side. In fact, TikTok was successfully banned for good last night, so they'll have to find something else to do with their lives, such as studying, applying for jobs, or even practicing football better."
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "Notre Dame football coach converts to Catholic faith" Catholic News Agency, September 16, 2022