User:Onion

This is my user page. So there.

Wjat a handsome man.

You are in the domain of the Onion. Usually, he doesn't refer to himself in the 3rd person.

About Me

I'm 151491514 and I live in Atlantis. I've been an avid Uncyclopedia for almost a minute. My specialties are smorts, anger, [Third thing here]. That's all you get because I'm not looking for stalkers, unless you're an attractive woman, which you aren't. Why? Because the only people on the internet are fat, balding, middle-aged men who still live with their parents, and of course the Illuminutty.

Why Onion?

Because it’s the most reliable source in the emtire worlds.

So...

I would like to dedicate my free time of not being in college, not playing Halo, not looking at pr0n, and not wondering why I have absolutely no life whatsoever, to making Uncyclopedia a place where people can go out at night and feel safe from feces, crap, and shit. A place where no one needs to fear Chuck Norris facts, lame Russian Reversals, boring lists, grues, or sex acts involving Wookies! A place where Albert Einstein wasn't a species of spider monkey that existed between 213766537463214387 B.C. and 2 A.D. being famous for inventing the colour Tyrian Purple! I want my children to grow up in an Uncyclopedia where *Sound of a heavy metal object against the back of a person's skull*

With the blessings of the Admins and Sysops, I'd like to be the Holy Avenger.

This user is from Camelot, and eats ham and jam and spamalot!

This user is American …and unabashedly proud of it! (List of American Uncyclopedians)

This user uses Windows because they can't get enough of your lover.

Member of the Order of Uncyclopedia

This person has successfully registered on Uncyclopedia. They should be proud of themselves for making such a smart move.

YES!!!!! YO LET’S GOOOOOOOOO!!!!