User:Oink/Wikibureaucracy
Wikibureaucracy is a term that refers to the bureaucracy that attempts to administer Wikipedia, using social engineering techniques of revisionism, nitpicking, pettifogging, harassment, fanaticism, provincialism, credentialism, authoritarianism, radical individualism, prestidigitation, information mismanagement, perceptual engineering, feigned obtuseness, feigned knowledgeability, feigned fairness, feigned arousal, feigned exhaustion, fundraising, log-rolling, auto-fellatio, and psychological torture.
A Critical Appraisal[edit | edit source]
Some critics have observed that Wikibureaucracy resembles an invisible cloud of human flatus hovering over a backhouse; other critics believe Wikibureaucracy resembles the one-eyed tentacled energy-feeding monsters in the movie The Green Slime (American International Pictures, 1969), especially in the manner in which actor Robert Horton keeps shooting the monsters with a laser gun when he knows he should avoid doing so, as they simply continue to reproduce by feeding off the weapon's energy directed at them by his manly sallies.
Still other critics believe that Wikibureaucracy shares more characteristics with a secretively-run nursing home whose feeble denizens often sleep sitting up in their wheelchairs, blocking the narrow hallways with heads fallen far forward, waking up if nudged when passed, and irritably gazing out with blue eyelids and bloodshot orbs full of infinite sadness at their fatally-narrowed scope. More critics besides these opine that Wikibureaucracy, in its underlying conceptual foundations, best resembles a hideously half-forgotten dream of abandoned companions fleeing alone through underground cyclopean architectures of non-Euclidean geometries and endless, stifling, slightly-downhill corridors reeking of ammonia and spoilage while dark shapes gibber and slaver closely behind, contemplating the proper consumption and disposal of the dreamer who only thinks it was a dream after they're done with him.
Other critics prefer to review food or movies.
Still other critics prefer criticizing the critiques of Wikibureaucracy as actually being completely oblivious critiques in and of themselves, not only of Wikibureaucracy but of the unaware critics as well. Other critics claim that Wikibureaucracy and all of its critics, whether knowingly or not, are a form of "camp," and that since everyone is a critic whether they realize it or not (because not criticizing is among the harshest forms of critique), everyone is therefore a Wikibureaucrat and therefore unfit to evaluate themselves with any pretention of objectivity — and would thus be better off with a more relativistic and subjective quasi-ethical philosophy. Most of these people, of course, are simply insane.
Other other critics believe there is a Marxist-style conspiracy of rotten "sons of bitches" out to get Wikibureaucracy and other right-thinking neutral realists. Some of these "other-others" suggest that since Wikibureaucracy rhymes with Lickmebureaucracy, a far purer form of management, it stands to reason that Wikibureaucracy should simply be renamed as such. But counter-other-other-critics observe that those critics are ignoring a crucial "k," so that the term should actually be Lickeebureaucracy. Considerable disgreement exists as to which is the better rhyme, or which term will eventually be formally accepted into the general lexicon as scholars become more aware of this extremely retarded problem.