User:MaxPayne/What If?:Life Were Like A Video Game?
I am in a Video Game. Everyone's life is a video game. It's actually quite an annoying existence when you think about it, and it's quite worse when you actually experience it. Can you imagine what it's like to have a health bar in the corner of your eye no matter what? Even when you sleep, you can see it. That little red, rectangular box really just pisses me off!
You don't believe me? You think this is a blast? Let me tell you what life is like in a video game.
Normal Conversation[edit | edit source]
Gary: Hey, man! How's it going?
Me:...
1. "Hey man, how's it going?" 2. "Can you leave me alone"? 3. "What's the news?" 4. "Goodbye."
Gary: ..Hello?
Me: Don't.. rush me man. I'm trying to make a decision....
Gary: Umm.... okay?
Several Minutes Later
1. "Hey man, how's it going?" 2. "Can you leave me alone"? 3. "What's the news?" 4. "Goodbye."
Gary: Dude-
Me: SHUT UP AND LET ME THINK!
Gary: I'll, uh, be going now....
Me:Wait, wait, I got it! ... Me:Hey, man, how's it going?
Gary:Dude....
And when I ever engage someone else in conversation, it goes something like this:
Me:Hey, babe, how's it going?
Hot Chick:Did you know that every day, AIDS kills hundreds of thousands of people in Africa?
Me: Um, well, I do now. Can I buy you a drink?
Hot Chick:Did you know that every day, AIDS kills hundreds of thousands of people in Africa?
Me:Yeah...
Hot Chick:[Says nothing]
Me:Hello?
Hot Chick:Did you know that every day, AIDS kills hundreds of thousands of people in Africa?
At the Bar[edit | edit source]
So what? People go to bars in video games. So, maybe this life is rated Mature. It's not as if we can get drunk. All we get is -2 INT for 2 hours. Not to mention that we don't really have to eat, sleep or drink in any way whatsoever in order to survive. But, anyway.....
I'm trying to pick up the latest chick with a [Persuade] option, and almost have enough experience to level up, when her Boyfriend shows up and tells me to leave. I, being a man, decide not to comply with his demands, despite the fact that he was obviously at least 10 levels higher than I was and he had a full set of epic Armour.
Me: Or what? You'll kick my ass?
Boyfriend: Uh, duh. We are in a video game.
Me:Uh, yeah.
Boyfriend:... Right. So, leave. Now.
Me:[Lie] You can't defeat me. I am skilled in the ways of magic.
Boyfriend: You're lying.
Me:How do you know?
Boyfriend:Because you said [Lie] before you said you were skilled in magic.
Me:You know what? I challenge you to a Duel!
Boyfriend: I accept.
(We get in battle stances. I attack. It does a total of 12 damage.)
Me:Your turn.
Boyfriend: You cannot win. If you strike me down, I shall respawn more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
Me:Actually, you'll have to load your last save game.
(Boyfriend hits me. It does a total of 326 damage. A little message box comes up that says: You are dead. I load my last save game.)
Me:You know what? I challenge you to a Duel!
Boyfriend: I accept.
(We get in battle stances. I attack. It does a total of 12 damage.)
Me:Your turn.
Boyfriend: You cannot win. If you strike me down, I shall respawn more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
Me:Actually, you'll have to load your last save game.
(Boyfriend hits me. It does a total of 326 damage. A little message box comes up that says: You are dead. I decide not to bother.)
On the road[edit | edit source]
I'm driving along the open road in my badass vehicle (because in a video game everyone has badass vehicles, you know, like Corvettes and ferraris and stuff; one of the cool perks for being in a video game.), when some guy in a black car decided to pull up and challenge me to a race. I know he challenged me because a little box popped up in front of my face and said:
Gary just challenged you to a race
Do you accept?
I select the Yes option.
