User:Lyrithya/Lungs (original)
“Ewwww, squishy.”
“Of course it's not a conspiracy. Now where's our grant money?”
Lungs, also known as pulmonary lumps, are an important organ in the human body, much like the appendix. In fact, they are so important that over the centries many scientists have pulled all-nighters trying to count all of the alveoli, or nodular thingymabobbers, that they contain. This has even come to be a national pastime in certain countries such as Spain and Uruguay for the sheer number of hours spent at it.
Function[edit | edit source]
In truth, nobody is entirely sure what lungs are for. They just know that they are there, they are gross, and that certain factions of certain governements have often tried to protect them, to the dismay of myriad community-friendly organisations such as the tobacco industry. After all, everyone knows that tobacco destroys lungs... For a good cause, of course. Right?
Or possibly the other way around.
Either way, something needed to be protected, so certain protective measures were taken to keep lungs away from tobacco. Because things need to be protected. That is, after all, what governments are for.
Or something.
Hmm.
Anyway, as far as the myriad scientists are concerned, the function of the lungs is to give them something to write grants for, because after all, it is very important to know just how many little thingies they contain.
Location in the body[edit | edit source]
The lungs are located somewhere in the chest. Or possibly in the foot. Or by the spleen. Ask the scientists; they'd know.
- What, you already did?
- They didn't know?
- Hmm, something fishy seems to be going on here...
Lungs in popular culture[edit | edit source]
Some people say that lungs are the things people use to breathe. Don't believe them. They are liers. Believe us instead, because we speak the truth. We see all. We know our LUNGS.
We know.
- Wait, and the scientists didn't?
- Fishy...
The evolution of the lung[edit | edit source]
Lungs did not evolve. They popped into existence one day for the salvation of mankind, and without them, we would all be roiling in a hell of horrors.
Why the lungs are so important[edit | edit source]
As already discussed, scientists use lungs to get money. Or something. They have to count the alveoli or whatever, though. The thingies.
Bugger.