User:Lollipop/LOLism
LOLism is a religion founded by many internet nerds in 2004. The LOLists pray to the holy God of Buttsecks named the "Invisible Man", and read from the book of Lulz. It is indeed derived from the Holy Book we have all have come to know by its religious name: The Bible. Every Sunday, the LOLists go out of their way to meet in the local chatroom and pray to the holy God Buttsecks.
Origin[edit | edit source]
Two computer geeks, John Lassinger (b. April 21, 1978) and Robert Stanford Gonzalez (b. November 18, 1977), came up with the idea whilst on the then new 4chan. "We were browsing around and I was commenting on some photo of a kitten doing a pushup", says John, "and I thought 'why can't this be a religion, why can't it just be something we pray to and we follow'." John contacted buddy Robert Stanford Gonzalez, and they both went on 4chan to lure evryone to the LOLism.
Beliefs[edit | edit source]
The LOLists believe that the God Buttsecks created all pr0n and created Teh Garden of Shoulder Cookies. And he created the first man, Fred, and the first woman, Boxxy. Fred and Boxxy lived happily until they saw teh Goatse and had to leave Teh Garden of Shoulder Cookies.
Then, LOLrus saved the bukkit from the evil army of LOLcats, and the LOLcats drowned. And then...the saviour came. Weegee. But Weegee was slain by the army of new LOLcats.
"Teh Ten Con<span>ments"[edit | edit source]
1. Thou shall not lol unless it is an lol.
2. Thou shall pray to teh invisible man and pray to teh LOLrus and Weegee.
3. Thou shall go on 4chan, Something Awful, Encyclopedia Dramatica, and any other LOLsite to pray to the God Buttsecks.
4. Thou shall eat Pork Rinds, Funyons, Doritos, and drink Coca-Cola.
5. Thou shall post funny pictures of thy cat every Saturday and thou shall call it Caturday.
6. Thou shall try not to look like thou are a noob by addressing others as "newfags".
7. Thou shall like and dislike exactly the same things as thy fellow LOLer to be cool.
8. Thou shall have greasy keyboards and a greasy mouse by eating a large amount of KFC.
9. Thou must damage thy eyesight so thou can wear glasses.
10.Thou must have a webcam and critic other videos on thy YouTube while hiding behind thy "V for Vendetta" mask.
Views on other religions[edit | edit source]
Christian[edit | edit source]
Teh r not cool cuz they r leik omg jesus is gods son but hes not invisible man is god and invisible man have no children but he have sexy invisible wife. LOL.
Judiasm[edit | edit source]
Teh cause all teh troublez in teh world and teh always wants teh money! What a bunch of greedy lzrs.
Buddhism[edit | edit source]
Dey silly Asians dey so weird teh go chung.
Muslim[edit | edit source]
ZOMG!! Terrorists!
Hindu[edit | edit source]
Teh smell funny and teh food smellz liek bad.
Common Activities[edit | edit source]
The usual LOList can be found on a chatroom or a popular website talking about porn.