User:Kippy/Pineal gland

The Pineal Gland is a small organ found in the center of certain tropical fruits. Often referred to as "the dark heart of the pineapple", pineal glands are actually quite light in color. The reference to "dark" comes from the toxicitiy of the pineal gland.

Most modern pineapple producers go to great lengths to ensure that their products are 100% pineal gland free. However, there has been a recent rash of deaths due to pineal gland poisoning, as pineapple producers cut corners to raise profits.

In order to aviod a possible pineal poisoning, one should follow these procedures:

1. Examine labels. Make sure the pineapple you are buying is "100% pineal free". If the label does not say this, AVOID that brand!!!

2. Check your pineapple for pineal glands. Using a small hand lens and a set of forceps, pick out any yellow or white material in your pineapple. While not all of this is pineal gland, quite a lot of it might be.

3. Saturate your pineapple with ethanol. Ethanol has been shown to detoxify 99% of the pineal gland in pineapple. Experts perfer either Captian Morgan's or Parrot Bay brand ethanol.

4. Avoid pineapple alltogether. Other fruits which contain pineal extract are pine cones, llamas, and felixus cattus