User:Jester

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"Uh... uh-hh um, b-benson?"

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Let's Begin

"A government's effectiveness is only based on two things: it ability to take care of it's citizens and it's ability to be resistant to corruption" A quote of my own

Comedy should be the best part of your day, right? So, let's make someone laugh, shall we?

I like to comedy things up here - I'm here to improve my writing - and also take blatantly partisan politics out of it, because, let's face it, partisan jokes aren't funny, they're just angry. And angry just ain't funny!

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't
arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it!
- Groucho Marx

My Ride!

In the interest of full disclosure I must reveal that I am a Walkentologist.

• "Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone" ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox
• "Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone." ~Anthony Burgess
• "Laugh and the world laughs with you, be prompt and you dine alone." ~Gerald Barzan

• "Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory." ~Alan Alda
• "We are all God's animated cartoons" ~Tom Hanks
• "The man who can make others laugh secures more votes for a measure than the man who forces them to think." ~Malcolm De Chazal
• "I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful." ~Bob Hope

• "An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all." ~Oscar Wilde

• "I was born at a very early age." ~Groucho Marx
• "Everything popular is wrong." ~Oscar Wilde

Here are Jerry Seinfeld's Four Levels of Comedy:

1. Make your friends laugh,
2. Make strangers laugh,
3. Get paid to make strangers laugh, and
4. Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.

Some Articles I Have Worked On

Articles I Created

• Operation Canadian Bacon
• Saint Valentine

Some Articles I have Reworked

"Luke - vote for Meeeee."

• United Nations
• Britney Spears
• George Bush added Edumacation, Military Experience, Position on Gay Marriage, Family Life
• Dick Cheney
• Ted Kennedy
• John Kerry
• Tom Cruise
• Eva Braun (in progress)
• Dan Rather
• Napoleon Bonaparte
• Jesus - water into wine, grain into pot
• Pilgrim

Some Articles I Reworked Just A Little Bit

• William Shatner
• Bill Clinton
• Vermont
• Wikipedia (only 2 sections)
• Making up Christopher Walken quotes - only added 2 quotes, the rest is hilarious
• George Bush (also, I restored it when somebody blanked it)
• Brokeback Mountain

Other Stuff

• Created the Attention Whores category
• Created the Worldwide Homosexual Conspiracy category

Something for Me!

This User is too Damn Sexy! If you saw this user it's possible that you might fall to the ground and worship him/her, or spontaneously combust from a sex drive overload.