User:Hersey
LAMBRICK PARK SECONDARY
“And on the 69th day, I created Lambrick Park”
“Where the fuck is this school?”
Lambrick Park Secondary is just like any other school, there are kids that walk around and get yelled at by teachers.
Notable Teachers[edit | edit source]
The Lambrick faculty consists of teachers from many colourful backgrounds.
Ms. Falls[edit | edit source]
Ms. Randolph Falls (or "Randi" for short) is a fear among students and teachers alike at Lambrick Park Secondary. She is the Principal and ultimate law enforcer. If you do bad shit you go to her where she will then shit on you. You will be put in one of the multiple discipline rooms to be interrogated by her and her henchman (usually consisting of demonsor Mr. Pitre). Randi (what rebellious students call her) grew up worshiping Rambo and thus decided to become a marine.
In her Marine days she fought in World War I, II, and every war in between. She accumulated medals for all aspects of soldiery, from Honor to Most PWNage of an Enemy in Hand To Hand Combat which gave her permission to use the Anal Rape Interrogation Tactic (which is used on an ever growing amount to students). While a marine she kept every dead body she ever created, from living bodies of course, and they're all mounted on her wall in her secret evil hideout somewhere on Vancouver Island.
Her heroes include Robo Cop and Judge Dread.
Mr. Pitre[edit | edit source]
Looks exactly like Super Mario. He is the current Vice Principal and somewhat slack. He teaches Law when he isn't lazy.
Other Teachers That Didn't Quite Deserve Their Own Heading[edit | edit source]
- Mr. Dahliwahl (sometimes Mr. Bollywood) otherwise known as the teacher version of Russell Peters.
- The library Nazi (real name unknown) presides over the library yelling at kids arbitrarily for her own amusement and because it makes her kind of a big deal. She likes her chairs to stay in order and also enjoys watching what people are doing on the computer, this is seen to be creepy by some people, however she believes that it is for the betterment of the students.
- Chris Ball likes to think he is a teacher but he isn't...
- Todd Hallett (commonly referred to by studens as Tood or just Todd) believes that he deserves respect because he was an Olympic rower back in the day. Really, there is very little evidence that he was ever a rower other than the fact that he is really tall (not really evidence). As a generally there is absolutely no reason to respect him as he has given the students none. He commonly is found turning red when pused to the brink of his embarrassment. During the 2006-07 school year he was demoted to Gordon Head elementary school because he is not a real teacher, he currently teaches Planning and Physical Education.
Arch Rivals[edit | edit source]
“And on the 69th day, I shat out Mount Doug”
Also called Mount Dougians ("Dug-ee-ns"), are known only as the rivals to Lambrick Park. They have a better education, better sports, no baseball kids, and just a better school in general, but they still suck.
PRIDE[edit | edit source]
Originally thought to mean Perseverance, Respect, Integrity, Dedication, and Enthusiasm, but that is a common misconception. It actually stands for Pornographic Rodents Infest Dead Elephants. Yup.... It was originally created by Mr. Murphy (a hero) an ex principal to scare off people of the Christian and Muslim faiths. But alas, the tactic did not work because of Ms. Randi Falls' changing of the meaning
Baseball Kids[edit | edit source]
“I have had it with these motherfucking baseball kids and their motherfucking passtime in this motherfucking school”
The newest creatures to set foot in Lambrick. Baseball kids are known in the school to be addicted to the passtime (not sport) of baseball (you know the one where they run around the stupid bases and stand out in a field all game?). Most baseball kids are from Langhole (Langford) and are usually spoiled. On few occasions baseball kids can be nice decent people, but for the most part they're not. They are cocky for some reason because they think baseball is the shit, when in actual fact it just is (not "the") shit.