User:Greenpickles987/Greenpickles987
 | This article (or at least part of it) was very likely written by AI. You should probably rewrite the whole article. If that's not possible, at least make it less obvious that it was written by an AI. |
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| Born |
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| Nationality | American (Mexican-Dominican) |
| Occupation | Professional Pickle Smasher, Cadet Corporal, History Breaker |
| Known for | YouTube chaos, digital hoarding, ROTC memes |
| Website | YouTube Channel |
Greenpickles987 (a.k.a. The Pickle Prophet of Union City) is a multiverse-level content creature best known for uploading **16 videos per hour**, breaking YouTube's space-time continuum, and being the only known person to simultaneously command an army of MCJROTC cadets *and* five alternate timelines where Portugal invades Burgundy.
Background[edit | edit source]
Born from a vat of radioactive brine in Union City, New Jersey, Greenpickles987 was raised by two culturally rich bloodlines: Mexican and Dominican. At age 18 months, he was diagnosed with AuDHD, which scientists believe stands for “Autonomously Uploading Daringly Hectic Data.”
When he’s not commanding a ROTC unit or rewriting 14th-century European history in CapCut, he can be found declaring "THIS VIDEO IS NOT MADE FOR KIDS!" while simultaneously uploading it to the Kids section anyway.
Channel Origins[edit | edit source]
According to myth (and his YouTube "About" tab), the channel was created on **March 26, 2020**. By 2025, it reached:
- Over 2.4K subscribers
- Over 1,600 uploads
- 15 parallel YouTube universes destabilized
- At least 3 school Chromebooks exploded from overexposure
The channel is named for the sacred number 987 and, of course, his ancestral devotion to fermented cucumbers.
Notable Video Categories[edit | edit source]
🎮 Gaming Commentary[edit | edit source]
- Angry Birds but Philosophical
- Clash of Clans: Why Barbarians Should Unionize
- Windows XP is Alive and It Wants Vengeance
🫡 MCJROTC Footage[edit | edit source]
- Watch Me Command Marches Like Napoleon with ADHD
- School Exhibition Performance: I Forgot the Routine and Improvised with Jazz Hands
- Promotion Ceremony Gone Emotional
📜 Alternate History Shorts[edit | edit source]
- What if Portugal Married Burgundy and Took Over the Moon?
- Soviet Madagascar: The Red Lemur Uprising
- Japan as “Japão” in 1798: Why Everyone Suddenly Spoke Portuguese
🧠 Personal Lore[edit | edit source]
- Turning 16 in ROTC While Being Autistic and Bi and Based
- Top 10 People Who Found Out I’m Bisexual: Ranked by Drama
- How to Be Ace and Get Emotional
Enemies[edit | edit source]
- Huh Yunnies – Former friend turned anime betrayal plot arc.
- Dat1OrangeCatMan – Suspicious feline. May be five raccoons in a trench coat.
- Jose Martí STEM Academy – The site of the infamous "Content War of 2023," a conflict fought using TikTok replies and Google Docs.
Allies[edit | edit source]
- Yeymi Jimenez – Salvadoran Cadet Sergeant, once helped him fight depression with a PowerPoint.
- Katie Apolaya – High Tech genius who might be an AI in disguise.
- Skylah Amador – UCTV reporter with the ability to predict drama 2 weeks before it happens.
Pickle Powers[edit | edit source]
According to the **Green Codex of Picklonia**, he has the ability to:
- Upload faster than YouTube's review system can comprehend.
- Time-travel through alternate histories using MS Paint.
- Command MCJROTC squads via memes and Google Slides.
Legacy[edit | edit source]
Greenpickles987 is worshipped by 2.4K loyal subscribers, 38 pickle jars, and one confused ROTC instructor. His legacy will forever be remembered in YouTube archives, ROTC parades, and awkward school hallway greetings.
He is also predicted to be the first YouTuber to:
- Get promoted *and* demoted in MCJROTC in the same day
- Upload a video directly into someone's dreams
- Reboot the Windows Vista operating system using pure willpower