User:Glueball

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Nicosia.

Χόρα Nicosia,Λευκοσία Strovolos
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: "The other side has cheap cigaretes"
Anthem: Please Post Suggestions To CyBC(PIK)
Capital	Aglantzia
Largest city	Strovolos
Official language(s)	Greek,Turkish,Παφίτικα
Government	Imperial Anarchy
National Hero(es)	Lellos,Kamougiaros
Established	Nothing to declare.
Currency	Cucamber
Religion	Hellenic Bank is Headquartered here.
Population	10% Original Horaites,40% Pafites,20% other natives,5% Pakistanis/Indians/ShriLankans etc.,5% Evropei,20% Alliens (The proper ones, from Space)
Area	2000 m2. So bigger than Cyprus

Capital City of Cyprus, localy refered to as Χόρα or Lefkosia, but know to the rest of the world as Nicosia for marketing reasons

35°10'N" 33°21'E"

The Last Divided Capital In The World

This is the standart moto of Nicosia. It came about sometime in the 60s when fans of APOEL and Omonia split the city in half, so as not too look at each other. In more recent years, the citizenry being rightiously pissed off with both banches of fools, dispatched both of them to ΓΣΠ and kept the rest of the city to themselves.

Monuments

Shakolas Mall

Shakolas Emporioum Plaza

Debenahms Ledras

Debenahms Central

Debenahms the other one.

Location

Nicosia is astride the Great Kotsirkas River, a much sought after sight for tourists. The best time to view the river is around 1:30AM on the 5th of February.

The citys founders were traditionalists so the city was initialy located between seven hills. The hills have since migrated to Protaras, where topless women can be viewed legaly.

Atractions

A wide selections of Public toilets can be found at:

35°10'12.33" N°33'21"

35°10'21.98" N°33'21"

All of the above are quaranteed not to work, and to provide contact details for a good old Boys Night Out.