User:Gert5/UnBooks:The neverending fight between man and sysop
The Neverending fight between Man and Sysop is a mind-boggling suicide thriller or something.
Chapter I[edit | edit source]
Gerdinand thought and thought every day about how to get fame and fortune. Sadly he walked the path of the UnCity thinking of a way to unparalleled riches, when up him comes a stranger, Elvis, I might add.
Elvis says "So, you want unparalleled riches, eh?"
Gerdinand says "How did you know that?"
Elvis says "I read the intro."
Gerdinand wonders "Oh, that old thing. I thought of getting it replaced."
Elvis claims "If you want to get from rags to riches, you need to get your hands on CUN"
Gerdinand says "CUN? What is that, a narcotic or something?"
"No, it's a man's title, like PhD"
"How on Earth, or off Earth, do I get one?"
"You need to get a Featured article, or an image, or just become Noob of the Month"
"That's how I get to infinite popularity?"
"Yes, but if you get a Writer's award, you will become a GUN, a man far greater than any CUN"
"FUCK THAT! I'll just see forward to one of them feature-scented articles."
"Suit yourself," said Elvis. "Now give me 500 bucks for that knowledge."
"What? Oh, fine!" said Gerdinand and gave the ugly man his money.
Thus, Gerdinand walked down home. The third thing he touched was the typing machine. The first thing he had touched was the door knob, and the second thing was his pants.
"How hard could it be?" Gerdinand had thought to himself. After this he started typing
| “ | Geoff van Boobermann was known for his general giganticness of boobies. He had wondered how his boobs exist, as it was against all logic | ” |
This was the introduction of Gerdinand's new article. After an hour of typing magic, Gerdinand posted the article on Pee Review, hoping it to be published to the larger extent on the Main Pageboard.
About 3 days after posting, Gerdinand discovered that the article was not there anymore. It had been tagged ICU. Besides this short shock, he was equally shocked to find that his Pee Review rating, before deletion, had been this.
| Humour: | 3 | This is not funny, and will never be funny. It focuses too much on sexual content, rather than reality. |
| Concept: | 4 | Not interesting. Too much focus on man-boobies. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | Good formatting anyways |
| Images: | 1 | Horrible image. No offense |
| Miscellaneous: | 3.5 | Averaged your score |
| Final Score: | 17.5 | Ugh... No. |
| Reviewer: | --Medusaperandi | |
Gerdinand was truly shocked. I mean really shocked. He swore revenge on Medusaperandi, and the man who deleted his article, Eatthemooses.
"If I can't make a good article, what good am I?" he cried.
Just then he had remember that he could also make a picture instead.
Chapter II: New image follies[edit | edit source]
The picture he had drawn was beautiful - a Pope punching George W. Bush after his presidency for revenge. Anyone would of chosen that image to be amazing.
As he had added the image to VFP, he had no idea that two days later, it would be doomed. Again, by the evilness of Medusaperandi, ZombieDictator and Eatthemooses.
He was truly depressed, but he had carried on with making images.
One faithful morning, he discovered that a message had been left for him by Medusaperandi.
Stop adding crap to VFP! You should start growing up.
Gerdinand was truly shocked that making featured images was not an easy job.
Don't worry. It took me a while to get a featured image
That last part had been left by Mayill.
Gerdinand finally understood - the people that hate his work are all admins. "Are they just picking on lesser people? Must I become an admin to get featured?"
Gerdinand did not give up. He knew that in some time, he will get his image featured. It just had to happen!
He had tried again, with no good results.
He tried and tried until he finally left. They had to give him Something for all his attempts. He had believed and praised the system for a long time.
He spent a whole summer vacation in Spain.
As he had came back, his surprise was gigantic.
He had won UGotM twice. Gerdinand had given up. He understood that the world hates him.
After a whole summer, he still tried again, hoping that he will win it soon. He failed.
Chapter III: Psychology[edit | edit source]
Gerdinand went to the psychiatrist, because he truly believed that people hate him.
"Take a seat," the psychiatrist said. "Now, tell me what's wrong."
"The whole world hates me."
"If you cannot be loved, love no one." the psychiatrist had said.
"That was fast." Gerdinand replied.