User:Frosty/Guano Islands Act
The Guano Islands Act of 1856 was a federal law of the United States, which allowed American citizens to arbitrarily claim islands as their own should they contain large deposits of bird faeces. The law dictates that the government can use military force to protect their interests if deemed nessecary. Such islands must be unoccupied and not already be claimed by a sovereign power, however these clauses are dismissed as mere "guidelines" in modern times under the "America Knows Best Act" of 1990. (see also: George H. W. Bush)
The act sets the precedent for American led invasions of countries with high oil deposits that are not covered by NATO or treaties with the US. However, since the law clearly states that the region in question must be uninhabited for it to be allowed, certain measures needed to be taken.
Background[edit | edit source]
Throughout 19th century America, it was standard practice for citizens to take the law into their own hands as a means of dealing with disputes. The early 19th century it was common for men to engage in dualing or "pistols at dawn", with blatent disregard to the loss of life and risk to innocent bystanders. However this began to become less fashionable as common sense began to seep into the public conscious for the first time in recorded history.
To compensate, a new means of dealing with neighbours that fucked your wife, stole your cattle or insulted your honour came about. The standard practice became to smear their home, wagon or clothing with copious amounts of bird excrement, as for all of human history finding bird shit on your property is the most irritating thing bar none.