User:Figgycity50/Drafts/UnNews:Oscar Wilde steals from Uncyclopedia

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“I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!”

~ Oscar Wilde on this article

“Yeah you did, stupid liar.”

~ Figgycity50 on the above quote

“But nobody cares!”

~ Oscar Wilde on the above quote (again)

On the 28th November Oscar Wilde was seen on CCTV stealing many things, including Uncyclopedia's main server, a photo of Sophia, a potato, a carrot and a tractor. He claims he didn't do anything, however this has been confirmed by Lyrithrya and other Uncyclopedia admins. And of course, Figgycity50 was first to arrive on scene, discovering the problem after logging in. He claimed that the Uncyclopedia offices were full of crying girls and n00bs at the time, which he suspects to be a distraction set up by Wilde.

Wilde's Trial[edit | edit source]

Wilde was eventually caught. The items have been returned to Uncyclopedia and Wilde was put on trial. He was sent to the Court of the Order. The judge was selected to be Sophia. She sentenced Oscar Wilde to be Bollocked for 1 month.

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