User:Evil poptart
This user is hereby cited for excellent work in cleaning up messy articles.
WTF?!!?? This award makes no sense and is awarded for no logical reason.
THIS USER IS A WEREHAMSTER!!! BE AFRAID! BE VERY AFRAID!!
Welcome Mortal!! You have entered the abode of Evil poptart![edit | edit source]
This is the realm of Evil poptart. You may ask yourself why poptart is not capitalized. You may ask yourself why Evil is capitalized. You may ask yourself "How did I get here?" You may also sprout off a polyp and begin a new coral reef. But hey....whatever floats your boat!!
Evil 101[edit | edit source]
To avoid confusion I have included what is Evil and what is not evil. For example, a pop tart on an electrified mesh is the incorrect way of cooking a pop tart. Here we see an instance of this heresy. Keep it simple folks. Use what everyone else does to cook them--your gas grill at a temperature of no less then 40 million Kelvin. Conversely, Evel Knievel is Evel and definitely evil, but most definitely not Evil.
It is perfectly OK to microwave a pop tart. Correctly use a sixty billion watt microwave and cook for seven years. Do not attempt this with Grape or Cherry flavor as they will certainly explode and pop tart shrapnel is capable of killing whales. So when in doubt just ask yourself what Jimmy Jones would do!! Forget the kool-aid part though...what the hell....live on the edge!!!
Poptarts are delicious!![edit | edit source]
Eating pop tarts has been known to stave off hunger, make people happy, stave off hunger, and occasionally cause spontaneous orgasms. It has also been known to make people fat. Fat I say!! Fat Fat Fat!!! FAT!!!