User:Dexter111344/Popeye the Sailor Man

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Popeye the Sailor is a United States sailor. He joined the service in the early 1930's at the young age of one year old without realizing he'd have to go and fight in World War II.

Early Life[edit]

When Popeye was a young boy, he suffered from constant teasing from his peers. He admits that this teasing drove him to become addicted to PCP. In an attempt to hide his PCP-addiction, he injected it into his home-grown spinach. The PCP-enhanced spinach would give him super-human strength and would also make him believe that the cross-gender Olive Oyl was the most beautiful girl in the whole universe. In actuality, she is fish-faced, flat-chested, no ass to speak of, a huge slut, much too tall, and is way too skinny, much like Paris Hilton.

The young and extremely overweight Bluto(also known as Brutus thanks to the idiots who bought the show in the 50’s thinking the name Bluto had been copyrighted of Disney because it rhymed with Pluto) was Popeye’s best friend and had also been in love with Olive Oyl because he realized that she was his only hope of ever getting laid. Unfortunately, Olive Oyl went for the obvious better choice, Popeye. This angered Bluto and forced the once best friends to become bitter enemies much of their lives, occasionally befriending one another before Olive Oyl or some other woman would drive them apart.

The Shooting[edit]

Popeye the Sailor Man before the shooting and resulting plastic-surgery.

Before he signed to Thimble Theatre, he was hired by Castor Oyl, Olive Oyl's brother, and "Ham" to crew a ship for a voyage to Dice Island, the location of a casino owned by the crooked gambler Engine Man. Castor intended to break the bank at the casino using the unbeatable good luck conferred by stroking the hairs on the head of Bernice the Whiffle Hen. Weeks later, on the trip back, Popeye was shot many times by three stooge's of Engine Man's but survived by rubbing Bernice's head.

Theater Work[edit]

After he recovered, Castor Oyl put in a good wood for Popeye at the daily King Features. He appeared in Thimble Theatre on January 17, 1929. He quickly replaced Castor Oyl as the main protagonist. This was shortly before the Great Depression(which I've always wondered what exactly is so great about a depression, but I digress...). During the Great Depression, Popeye signed to Fleischer Studios and made his first movie appearance next to porn star Betty Boop in 1933.