User:DaDopeboy/GLA
GLA, abbreviation of Gangsta Liberation Army[1] , is probably the most unknown, the most unbroadcasted and the most undergrounded terrorist organization ever. People often think it as an unconventional army which is featured in a war game called Command and Conquer - Generals, but its not. Its a real organization[2] which is working mainly on cultivation of Central Asian barren wastelands and growing Marry Janes everywhere.
According to my mom's nephew David Tashmond, it's members are so scary that he had pissed off his panties even though he was in front of his girlfriend's home. Because they were stealing his girlfriend. Ugh.
Anyway, let's talk about how they been-there-done-that more seriously. According to the most trusted conspiracy theory reporting site[3] , GLA's origin is a fictional army called Global Liberation Army which was featured in an old military game Let's Command and Conquer!, released in 1974. It was an army held by Middle Eastern terrorist organization that is very similar with Taliban. Hero unit, known as Jar Kelly, was officialy modeled Osama Bin Ladin. These odd facts were the biggest, and the most miserable basement which later created an global terrorism activity, caused many tragedies across the globe.
Needless to say that, Let's Command and Conquer! became the biggest summer hit of EA games that year, however there was no such way for helpless nerds to foresee the upcoming terrible future affairs.
Terrorisms[edit | edit source]
Just like Al Qaeda and Taliban and many more Middle Eastern gangs, GLA has been working on global catastrophe like a hyena, begging for money and girls. No matter what you believes it or not, they keep making you frightening with just like,
9/11 attack, 2001[edit | edit source]
The most critically acclaimed victory of GLA, which made fat Americans too shrinky and decided to hunt for Arabian wheat and invade Iraqistan. GLA announced responsibility for this attack on 9:11 PM[4], hence the name.
Wright Brothers Airplane crash, 1923[edit | edit source]
Chicago officials reported that GLA was dreaming about making the first airplane, however the dream couldn't materialize since Wright Brothers were there[5]. According to Chicago times, in 1923 a few Afghan tourists assassined Wright Brothers by installing turbo fan engines on the wooden plane, making it crash burning[6].
Jerusalem Bombing, 1977[edit | edit source]
Jerusalem bombing resulted 200 Jew's death. This biggest fiasco of Israeli defence ministery since its born, made them muddled, resulting in defeat of World War 4. GLA later explained that the explosion was not mean to kill Jews, but was an result of euthanasia carried out by a GLA blue magic junkie[7].
References[edit | edit source]
- ↑ John W.E. Top Secret report LeakedKIAA. Retrieved November 53, 2009
- ↑ Central Asia WatchCNBC. Retrieved August 21, 2009
- ↑ Lon Koray: Definition of GLAifAmericansknew.com. Retrieved December 12, 2012.
- ↑ Pilots for 9/11 truthARC. Retrieved February 31, 2009.
- ↑ History of Wright Bros p.2123
- ↑ Leroy Jenkins "The Pioneer's Plane's Death"Chicago Times. Retrieved yesterday
- ↑ Chopper the Whooper Report from Tel Aviv, 1978Mfla.Mustwatchtoday.il. Retrieved today