User:Comrade John
Comrade John is in fact not a Communist, but the polar opposite of one. He is an out of the closet Pirate.
You might think it strange, but pirates do exist, just ask Maddox. You might also think "No way is a pirate the opposite of a communist, isn't it Ronald Reagan?" Well, since there are still communists, and no Reagan, Pirates had to take over, or else the Communists win.
"Why are Pirates in 'the closet'?" is something else you might ask your self after you realize that pirates exist. Well, Pirates aren't in 'the closet', they are in a closet. Every type of personality (or godly being in the case of Pirates) has a closet in which they must hide when they realize that the world might not want them, because the world doesn't want anyone. After a few years in 'the closet', everyone decides that they don't care if the world likes them or not, they hate those damned spiders which don't have their own closet so they invade everyone's closets.
Afternoon Delight[edit | edit source]
Do you know that song by the Star Light Vocal Band Called "Afternoon Delight"? Writing for uncyclopedia is where Comrade John gets his afternoon delight from. His Baby happens to be his key board because it doesn't work unless its held tight by something. blah blah blah, next section!
Things I Think For You[edit | edit source]
Lets face facts, I thought of a lot of things you were thinking at the top of this page, and you might be thinking, "hey, you didn't think of </insert your random thought here/>". In fact, I did. I thought every thing you were thinking, but I just didn't have the time or the commitment to type it out. You might also be thinking "hey, I didn't think those things up there, or even this thought right here" but in fact you did, its called subconscious, which thinks things for you without your written permission. Right now you, or should I say your subconscious is thinking for you, that you would love to go out and buy some brownies and eat them. If you thought "hey, I'm allergic to </insert random IDon'tCareIngredientFromBrownies here/>" then your subconscious wants to kill you, which means you want to commit suicide. I don't think your suicidal thoughts are all that please, so you are no longer a part of my-thought-space.com.