User:Cat the Colourful/Drug Exhortation Agency
Drug Exhortation Agency (shortened as DEA) is a United States national law counteraction agency which is specialized on distributing illegal drugs to american citizens. DEA is under the U.S. Department of Justice but works independently, meaning that while DEA is forced to respect the law and all the human, animal and copyrights, they do whatever they want to while breaking every single law and not even giving a fuck of any rights, waiting to get caught on doing wrong, blame terrorists when caught and then act like everything's just alright, like any other three letter agencys in USA. They focus only on finishing their job no matter how many lifes are wasted on their actions.
Unlike basic drug-dealers, DEA doesn't ask for any money for it's work. No, vice versa; they might even hand money to the clients! This is, of course, due the fact that the agents of DEA are good-hearted and they care for their clients. Corruption? Bribes? Nah. Although shutting your mouth for forever doesn't make you any worse. Besides, DEA doesn't even need money because their expenses are funded with the tax-money of the american citizens, much like any other illegal activity in America. All that bake selling and fan merchandise[1] DEA does is just a part of their cover-up agency, known as DEA (shortened from Drug Enforcement Administration), which acts as an agency preventing drug-using. However, that's only an act; most citizens of America wouldn't accept such criminal activities the real DEA does, and that is why the fake DEA exists to hide up all the drug trading.
Target audience[edit | edit source]
DEA's mission is to equally mess up everyone's mind without any discrimination involved; from blacks to whites, from homo sexuals to straights, and from bored teenagers to grown-ups pretending to be cool teenagers doing drugs. Even the kids at the day-care center know where to get their narcotics from.
Merchandise[edit | edit source]
Agents[edit | edit source]
The agenthood of DEA is a solemn and respected thing.
DEA is one of the many three letter agencys in USA that will force you to move to a South American country where you'll spend the rest of your life eating goats and watching the Die Hard films if so much as one secret escapes your lips.
Quality standards[edit | edit source]
DEA's drugs are all organic and handmade, and everything is done under DEA's supervision. DEA uses only the best ingredients which are stolen from a local laboratory, and they never use any chemicals manufactured outside USA. All the workers, mostly slum children[3], are forced to work without any wages to not waste any worthy human lifes in case of explodes and to prevent inflation. DEA tests all the produced drugs on homeless people before sharing them, just to make sure they have the best quality.
Footnotes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ Such as their signature pipes, needles and snapbacks
- ↑ DEA does not want to be confused with the term 'dealer' as it is insulting and a low term.
- ↑ The children are the future, as people say! And little pocket money won't hurt the small children. But a bullet in the head on a dark street will. Just saying.