User:Cainad/recovery

This is a secret operation, henceforth it shall only be referred to as "Recovery." In order to keep it secret, I put it on the internet. Smart, huh?

Seriously though, let people discover this for themselves.

Recovery is a planned project which dribbled out of my brain after reading Colonel Swordman's user page. There is very little in the way of humour concerning Recovery, since it was inspired by the sadness and despair that the Colonel expresses in his swan song.

Before moving on, please understand that this is not intended to be a beginner's guide, nor does it have anything to do with beginners. Recovery is for users who have some experience and respect.

What is Recovery?

In brief, it is my mediocre and pitiful attempt to change some of the things on Uncyclopedia, as inspired by the late Colonel Swordman. From what little I know of his time here, things like obnoxious and boring memes are one of the things that he considered to be overflowing Uncyclopedia, making it a quagmire of dull slime.

Recovery is intended to be a form of wiki philanthropy, in which things are changed for the better by all interested users. Too often, I find that well-meaning people try to petition for policy changes on Uncyclopedia. Truth be told, that kind of action almost always fails; read the Village Dump if you need proof. The only times when it succeeds is if a majority of the community approves, and most of the time the majority of people have some beef with the proposed change. Inevitably, this results in all of Uncyclopedia's rules being made to work for the lowest common denominator.

Rather than try and force the desired changes through democratically, like some sort of special-interest lobbying group, the changes necessary for Recovery require only a mutual agreement between multiple individuals to carry out the overall agenda.

The Colonel Swordman Clause

The inspiration for Recovery was Col. Swordman's parting message. He explained that he had lost hope in this site, and I think he was justified in his despair. In spite of Forest Fire Weeks, Uncyclopedia remains full of lame non-jokes. I will not even give them the label of "unfunny," because the poor attempts at humour that clutter Uncyc are just too dull and unimaginative. The Colonel claimed to have lost hope, but I think, deep down, he still had the faint hope that Uncyclopedia would redeem itself. Recovery is not an attempt to bring Colonel Swordman back; he made his choice and that ought to be respected. Rather, the most essential aspect of Recovery is for participants to try and make the changes that would have prevented the Colonel from leaving in the first place. There is no clear goal for victory, and the fight is never really won. Recovery is meant to be an ongoing effort against the great hordes of worthless crap that swarm the internet. Every user who participates ought to focus on doing their part, and be satisfied with the good they have done so far. The "Big Picture" may be that Uncyc will never be totally crap-free, no matter how hard anybody tries, but that is not a reason to give up. Uncyc has come this far, and it deserves better than to be abandoned.

Recovery's Agenda

These are the things that need to be done:

Cool it with the in-jokes. By far the biggest problem on this wiki, in-jokes have become an obstruction to Uncyclopedia's humour value. Kanye West quotes and Russian Reversals are fortunately losing popularity, but Oscar Wilde continues to be a problem. Grues and Kitten Huffing still abound as substitutes for punchlines. Nobody cares is teetering on the edge of becoming one of these, so be careful.

Put an end to memes. This one is pretty straightforward. If you want to participate in Recovering Uncyclopedia, simply get rid of dumb jokes that are all over the freaking internet. A good place to start would be to not use Chuck Norris in any future edits or articles you might make. If you see the same joke being referred to in more than two places on the internet, avoid it altogether.

Pee Review needs to be considered more than a pun. Make some suggestions. Indirectly encourage the author whose piss work is being reviewed to participate in Recovery by strongly encouraging the removal of–you guessed it–memes and in-jokes. Many newbies will try to endear themselves to the community by participating in the distribution of canned jokes. This should be gently discouraged.

These are among the general goals of Recovery. New ones will be added as participants see fit to propose.

What's Up With The Psuedo-Secrecy?

As I said before, proposing something like Recovery to the wiki community as a whole is a recipe for instant rejection. At this point, there is no plan for a comittee or cabal to form around Recovery. There is no:

1. Logo
2. Motto
3. Slogan
4. Secret Handshake
5. Userbox
6. Template

or anything like that for Operation Recovery. It is simply an idea, one which I hope some fellow Uncyclopedians will take with them as they go about their editing. Hopefully, some integrity can be preserved by keeping this page on the down-low. Don't mention it in the Village Dump or on the IRC, at least not until Recovery has a good following.

Great, But what else can I do?

I strongly suggest you do a bit of reading. Read Colonel Swordman's user page, to better understand what the problems on Uncyclopedia are.

It's used as the equivalent of "RTFM," but honestly, give Uncyclopedia:How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid the once-over. Just to remind yourself what Uncyc ought to be like.

Try giving yourself a refresher course in the study of not-so-obvious humour. Read Dave Barry and some Maddox, watch some old Monty Python; you know, the stuff that is actually original and good.

Of course, these are just suggestions on my part. Pretty darn helpful suggestions though, if I may say so myself.

There will be more helpful suggestions in the future, I am sure.

Targets

If you have read the entirety of this page and done some research, feel free to participate in Recovery. This section is for listing pages targeted by Recovery participants. To suggest a new target, go to the talk page.