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JONES, IN. Pete Blackberry (7) sobbed like the little brat he is today when his music teacher, Frank Terblanche (42) of 1523 West York Drive, Hoboken, New Jersey, who wishes to remain anonymous (5 ft. 11 inches, bald, pot-bellied, frequently seen in a trechcoat at the neighborhood park watching the children with his hands not visible), reportedly called his attempts at playing the recorder "a fucking disgrace". He continued by stating: "No wonder your mother put you in that god damn orphanage, you worthless weed." Frank then proceeded to break the recorder which the boy had borrowed for the lesson in half and shouted: "That was an antique, but you went and spoiled it." It was at that time that Pete started pissing through his eyes. (more...)

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KAKARIKO VILLAGE, HY - A 17-year-old Hylian was arrested Friday afternoon on charges including breaking and entering, property damage, and theft. (more...)