User:Blinkcrash
“All art is useless... especially this guy's”
“If I knew he was going to be this useless I would have let him get eaten by wolves”
“I'll kill him the next chance I get, as a service to the good people of Uncyclopedia”
“Mother Fucker”
“This meansucker deserves a yell-down war hellride”
“Who?”
“He's an asshole, who hates sick children”
“What a douche, your parents tasted like shit, we will find you”
The Ledgend[edit | edit source]
BLinkCrash, aka Mike Doyle, was born in 1806, during the First Gulf War. When he was a young boy, his parents fled to Russia, where the Soviets communize you. He was raised by a pack of wolves, you may be thinking "didn't he just say his parents fled to Russia?" I may be thinking "Why is an Uncyclopedia user thinking... or even reading this article when they could be reading about the Flying Spaghetti Monster." Well, the answer to your question is that the wolves ate his family. After living with wolves for most of his life BLinkCrash was rescued by Bruce Campbell, and put into the care of none other than Mr. Uncyclopedia himself, Oscar Wilde. Wilde taught BLinkCrash in the ways of being witty, and Samuel L. Jackson, Chuck Norris, John Stamos, and Jesus, taught him in the ways of name-dropping. Armed with this knowledge BLinkCrash was ready to descend onto this Earth, and come forthright with random words, and lo and behold the kafkaesque wisdom he would bestow upon us all, that would enlighten everyone to the strawsome truth of their very existence. Or so it would have been if Wilde had not locked him in a cage with an IBM 5150 with only Paint to occupy his time. With it he was able to make these remarkably less than impressive or even decent, uninspired pictures. For every one produced, BLinkCrash was allowed another 20 seconds of play on Minesweeper, and if he can ever beat Expert in that time, Wilde has promised to let him go, or at least stretch his legs for a couple minutes.
Body of Work (Pile of Shit)[edit | edit source]
Freddy Krueger celebrates Christmas
Irwin's assassin put to death
Skinheads the movie film poster
Pong! the movie film poster
