User:Beefhooked/Gendall

The term Gendall can be used for any number of organisms infecting the humanoid sub species of Judex Corruptus

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An early poster from Gendall awareness week.

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A 20th century sufferer whose bulbous nose & large top hat are symptomatic of chronic Gendallitis.

Egg

First discovered in New Zealand, the Gendall itself is a symbiotic parasitic creature which evolved from the tape worm Echinoccoccus Granulosus. Dogs and Sheep were the orignial carriers of the worm which now carries a virus that replicates the dominant canine and even-toed ungulating (sheep) genes in the host. The virus was first identified in the Queen Gendall, commonly believed to be Helen Clark, although other queen specimens such as the now extinct Margaret Thatcher have been found internationally. When the Gendall is laid, it is in a pupaic form that must be ingested by a host, for this reason the Gendall parasite is usually found in organisms that feed from a trough.

The wool can clearly be seen sprouting on the head of this fuzzy pre wig associate Gendall.

Larva

After ingestion, the Gendall's shell is broken down by the hydrochloric acid in the stomach, a long spindle of protein acids harbouring a small amount of DNA that has the ability to instruct the Gendall cells in the wall of the stomach to neutralise the acid for long enough to allow the Gendall gene to infect the blood cells. After the gene has been successfully introduced to the blood in a viral form, the Ph of the stomach returns to normal but the host occasionally becomes catatonic due to the uncontrolled release of vexatious free radicals.

A pack/herd/mob of Gendalls patting each other on the back.

Infection

The next stage of the process is for the Gendall virus to be carried around the body in the blood to instruct all the other genetic information in the other cells to produce the Gendall virus. Once this stage has been accomplished it is possible for the Gendalloid organs to form in the body with no chance of rejection by the host body. The host will rarely have any changes occur at this point, although a slight change in the pitch of voice can be detected and the neck and head may become covered with short curly hairs or wool.

Metamorphosis

The next process is the most recognisable when the Gendall glans start to form on the roof of the cranium. The Gendall glans is similar to the penis glans, or dogscock as it is commonly known. First a slit is formed on the tip of the skull, a primitive urethra forms alongside the jugular vein and continues along the cranial plain until it meets the prepuce. Once the urethra has met with the prepuce it is possible for the testis, bulbourethral glands and prostate glands to form inside the skull. These extra organs, although completely useless, take up 'brain space' and in turn make the host more stupid, at this point the gendalloid is fully formed on the skull.

Full blown Gendallitis

As it begins to take nutrients from the host, it in turn provides the host with alcohol produced from the volatile fats the bacteria secretes within the Gendall itself. This is why the Gendall wethers, or young hosts are often seen binge drinking, chunder chucking and generally being annoying. As the host grows older, it calms down, but the annoying factor remains. The apearance of the Gendall means that the Gendalloid must send information to the hosts brain to purchase a wig, or other head covering so the Gendalloid or head proglottides may remain hidden from public view, if it becomes transparent , it shrivels up and dries out, which is always fatal to the parasite.

A Gendall taking a post coital nap, with his Queen proudly showing off her new dentures.

Inbreeding and the diminishing gene pool

It is possible when the host is excited for ejaculate to emanate from the crown of the Gendalloid or the upper the upper lip area, often mistaken for drool, this ejaculate was once considered necessary for the reproduction of Gendalls but scholars now believe that Queen Helen Clark is almost certainly a virgin due to her grotesque appearance, thereby proving the alarming proposition that Gendalls can reproduce A-sexually.

The search for a cure

International concerns about the spread of the virus have led to a frantic search for a cure.In a preemptive move to avoid a pandemic, New Zealand's former Prime Minister, and world famous troglodyke [1], Helen Clark was recalled from her position at the United Nations. Queen Helen, who was head of the United Nations Development Agency[2] was recently chastised by her own body after being spotted cavorting with India's largest cigarette maker at a beer-fest where her agency gave the tobacco company its highest prize for improving the environment and removing poverty by encouraging humanity to self destruct.