User:Alien Hunter/UnNews:Oil found on Saturn's Moon: Titan

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16 May 2008

George W Bush explaining with erudite finesse, the discovery of Oil on Titan

Today, it has been revealed by NASA that one of Saturn's moons, Titan has oil on it[1].

Recent space probes revealed that it has Natural Gas (Fossilized Washington DC Farts, such as Ted Kennedy, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama) and importantly for the currant administration oil. The space probe sent by NASA beamed back pictures of the oceans of oil and gas that is all over the place.[2] When President Bush and Halliburton had seen the Pictures, he had ordered NASA and the US Air Force to construct large space borne tanker ships to go to Titan, get the oil and gas and fly it back to Earth.[3]


When OPEC, the Oil Sheiks and Hugo Chavez, Al "I'm an Eco-Fraud" Gore got the news that this is going on, they all "hit the proverbial ceiling". OPEC and the Sheiks said that they will GIVE the US FREE OIL and FREE GAS FOREVER, Hugo Chavez said that he will let America take over his nation and make it a State of the US. Al Gore said that he can no longer oppose the US at all, and that he said that, as an environmentalist (French for mental illness), he “will give up his Nobel Prize, influence, and money.” That all obtained by fraudulent means, and he will further go on to admit that he has been “full of crap” and check himself into a mental hospital. Al Gore hopes to stop President Bush acquiring the greatest reserve of Oil known to man. Currently a variety of talks are taking place on the future of the El Dorado like place that is Titan.

Jupiter as seen from Titan, 'The Astronauts think Titan's a pretty good place, hampered by a lack of atmosphere

Titan:

  • Atmosphere: Mainly nitrogen, has hydrocarbons in it, incl. Natural Gas
  • Surface: Has lakes and small oceans of oil and Natural Gas, other hydrocarbons
  • Inhabitants: Smurfs and German Tourists
This is an image of Titan from the spacecraft, or possibly a floating orange, the crew were rumoured to be quite drunk upon arriving at Jupiter

Sources[edit | edit source]

  1. ↑ www.nasa.gov/Titan Nasa's current news on Titan
  2. ↑ www.space.com/Titan More news...
  3. ↑ www.foxnews.com Bush asks Oil companies to increase oil production, or he puts plan into operation, which will tell OPEC and Oil Sheiks to F**k Off.(Happened on May 6, 2008. Days over there are a day AHEAD of the US. SERIOUSLY)
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