User:A hog staring at a wristwatch/Template:WelcomeIP
Welcome![edit | edit source]
Hello, A hog staring at a wristwatch/Template:WelcomeIP, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for the contributions of your brother who uses your computer when you're not around. I hope he likes this place and decide to stay.
While anonymous edits are fine, you are encouraged to create an account. At least, on other sites you are. Admittedly, doing so deprives one of the lurid thrill of being an IP vandal. What a rush that is.
With your useraccount, you can
- Create the offensive username of your choice.
- Show off all your contributions via the "My contributions" link. What a sense of accomplishment this will give you, in the brief period before you discover you have wasted your life.
- View your personal watchlist, which helps you edit war articles that interest you.
- Customize your view of the site using scripts and other nerd stuff no with sense uses really.
- Lie about your IP address and say you're like, Bill Gates or something. Or say you're not Bill Gates. It works both ways.
- Receive new messages via your user talk page, and maybe get email from strangers. Wouldn't that be great? The interweb is cool.
- Well, I've gone on too long. You probably haven't read this far.
Here are a few good links for nooblets:
If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (
) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to attract experienced pedophiles eager to groom you. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave them a message on their talk page. Again, welcome! / A hog staring at a wristwatch 10:43, 25 July 2007 (UTC)