User:1-102 IN

The 1st Battalion of the 102d Infantry Regiment is a National Guard unit for the State of Connecticut. The unit used to fall under the 29th Infantry Division until it was pointed out that they were a bunch of Nasty Girl retards and had to be adopted by the Vermont National Guard's 86th Brigade Combat Team.

History

The 1-102 did a bunch of stuff prior to 9/11 but nobody hears about that anymore because all of its members have nothing better to do than talk about their missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. The majority of people who hear these stories do not realize that the person talking is in the National Guard because he frequently states that he's in the Army. This is of course a lie because the National Guard is not the Army.

Current Members

The Sergeant Major of the unit is Baseplate Bill. After being told to lose weight or get kicked out of the unit he decided to submit himself for a purple heart after injuring himself with a mortar that was fired off of concrete. The award was rewritten twice and had to be submitted by someone else until he finally was able to reduce the Purple Heart to the military's version of a Burger King crown.

The Commanding Officer is LTC Evon. Not much is known about him because he lives in a hollowed out tree and possibly makes cookies. He was emasculated in front of the entire unit by a bitch who changed her first name to the letter M, when she referred to him as Fran several times.

Alpha Company All that is known about A Co is that they have a faggy guideon. Outside of that, nobody gives a shit about Apache. Nobody outside of the company knows where they drill.

Bravo Company B Co thinks that they are a Ranger Battalion. They will readily throw a tantrum if you do not agree that their wop commander should be blown at regular intervals for... well nobody except for Bravo has any idea why they have a superiority complex. Do not mention that they are still a National Guard unit that does National Guard missions as they are prone to tears and fisticuffs.

Charlie Company The most inept unit in the history of the military. They gave a bronze star to SFC Troy who can't pass a PT test and shot at a grenade that ended up sending shrapnel through one of his soldiers. One of the platoon sergeants is actually an 80 year old Jamaican cyborg who needs a translator. The C Co First Sergeant is commonly referred to as "that faggot" and can smell homeless dick on his wife's breath through Skype. The rest of the unit can be divided up as drug addicts, frat cocksuckers, cops and wannabe cops.

Delta Company Delta is the heavy weapons company that used to have an armory before Gorski burned it down. They now drill in the more spacious "Zarate's Vagina." As they spend most of their time in full MOPP4 and avoiding ODA penises, they don't get around to much else which is why they are the laziest assholes in the BN.

Foxtrot Company The support company has cooks, mechanics and other assorted MOSes but those are mostly jokes as they can't cook and don't fix shit. Soldiers who are sick of infantry bullshit come to this company to get their E-5 and get their dicks sucked by complete whores that you wouldn't fuck outside of a third world country you've been stuck in for a year. They are somehow less of soldiers than the rest of the Battalion.

Drill

The 1-102 will spend their one weekend a month at Stone's Ranch in East Lyme, CT. They will sleep outside for no reason and do battle drill 1a. Retarded faggots will yell at you for not taking the training seriously despite the fact that it is useless. This will always be scheduled on the weekend of your favorite party or concert.

Annual Training

AT is the worst thing that will happen to you in your life. Imagine the biggest loser in your high school. Now imagine that he is in charge of you for two weeks and he's going to take out all his ass whippings and swirlies he got on you because anyone who stays in the National Guard long enough to get rank has been a douchefag his whole life and needs to feel important.