Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Zen Rfanklib
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Zen Rfanklib[edit source]
I just created this article and I need to know what would make it funnier. I think it's funny since it's based (somewhat) in troofs.
Zen Rfanklib 16:40, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
- I can probably get to this tomorrow, if that's okay. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.
- Gonna get to it in just a sec. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.
No. Can't do it. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.
- Well, [bad word] you too. Zen Rfanklib 20:40, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
- If you're gonna be that way, I might as well. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.
| Humour: | 5 | Well, Zen, I see you're new to the wiki, so I enjoyed this much more than I thought I would. It had some pretty decent jokes and a fun style, but it lacks the powerful humor punch it needs. Let me explain what you must do:
First, get rid of some of the meme parts. Asplode and pwn are not funny anymore, they never were, and they do not need to be in this article. Remove them for sure. Second, the storytelling in the article is not exactly on point. Polish that a little to make it funnier and more readable. Also, get rid of the "robot" thing, it was unneeded and unfunny. Fix that up and the article should be funnier! |
| Concept: | 6.5 | The concept is very unique, but the execution lacked a little. I would recommend HTBFANJS, it will teach you this kind of stuff, how to execute a topic like this into something amazing. You took the right direction and then you kind of hit a wall. These kinds of concepts need to be executed perfectly, and if they are, the payoff is massive, but if not, they fall flat and need to be rescued by an experienced editor. You kinda hit right in the middle of that. While this doesn't mean it's a terrible article, it does hinder the end result in a way that you don't want it to. |
| Prose and formatting: | 4.5 | Well, there wasn't much amazing to say here. It wasn't too easy on the eyes, but I liked the placement of the picture. My suggestion is to use some bolds and italics, and sometimes the |
| Images: | 3 | You have one image, and it's relevant, but why can't you have more? One image is never enough for an article; you need to put some more. Maybe one of Zen Rfanklib exploding, or something like that. Possibly the destroyed sign reading "ZFKLB", if that helps. |
| Miscellaneous: | 4.8 | averaged with the pee template homey, that's what I do. |
| Final Score: | 23.8 | Well, Zen, I see you grasp the basic formula of what we're trying to do here. Mix facts with bullshit, create humor. Not guite the best here, but I can see you're on your way to being a good writer. |
| Reviewer: | It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you. | |